Category: Movie Pass Adventures

  • Streaming Movie Adventures: Star Trek: Section 31

    Young Philippa Georgiou in Star Trek: Section 31.

    There’s a thing going on in DC comics right now called the Absolute line. There’s an Absolute Superman, an Absolute Batman, and an Absolute Superman. The idea behind them is simple: How much can you take away and still have the story be true it the character? So far, it’s worked surprisingly well, giving new looks at the heroes without abandoning there core concepts.

    This feels like someone had a similar idea for Star Trek, but in this case it absolutely does not work. Sure, it has some of the same aliens and characters, but it feels like someone went to a costume shop and said “hey, gimme some stuff from that Doctor Spock show.”

    This was originally supposed to be a series. I see why they decided against it.

    Also:I always fight to make decent parody images for bad movies. They take way too long, I never find source images I want to use (because they don’t exist), it’s hard to come up with a parody concept, and they never look as good as I’d like. Seriously, you have no idea how much work I put into this thing that doesn’t work.

    A poster for Star Trek: Section 31 that doesn't quite match the look of the poster for A Star is Born.
    …and now I’ve wasted the poster for A Star is Born on this terrible movie.
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  • Streaming Movie Adventures: Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl

    Gromit, Norbot, and Wallace. THey are in the garden. Gromit looks concered, Norbot looks happy, and Wallace looks proud and pleased.

    This is cracking good fun- it’s Wallace & Gromit, how could it not be? Wallace still has his delicate balance of brilliance and boneheadedness, and Gromit continues to be a combination of Jeeves and James Bond.

    This is up for Best Animated Picture. It’s not my favorite of the bunch, but it’s still a lot of fun.

    I wanted to do a “Revenge of the Sith” parody for this poster, but I already made a Star War. I think this is actually better.

    A poster for Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl inspired by Wall-E. Wallace & Gromit are tied up in the foreground. In the background, a faint image of Feather McGraw flots in the tars above them. Text reads "After 35 years of inventing what he wanted, he'll discover what his best pal really wants." The bottom of the image shows the title of the movie in the style of the title design for Wall-E.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

    The face of Invasion of the Bee Girls' Dr. Susan Harris, looking either sultry or slightly sleepy.

    When I was a kid in the 1970s, KCOP (channel 13) showed this movie. Watching it now, I can’t figure out how they did it. The movie is 75 minutes long, and half the scenes, including the climax of the movie, feature prominent nudity and/or sex. It must have been thirty minutes long.

    Also: no, this isn’t a secret classic movie. It’s a silly “hey look at these boobs” film that I watched with a bunch of other folks just to make fun of it. Don’t seek it out.

    …but hey, I got a good poster out of it!

    A poster for Invasion of the Bee Girls in the style of the poster for Bee Movie. Text at the top reads "THESE HONEYS ARE HAVING A BALL." Text in the center says "INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS" in a style similar to the title of Bee Movie. At the bottom is a picture of Dr. Susan Harris with large seventies hair and sunglasses. In the background is a large letter B in shades of yellow, gold, and orange.
    …you like jazz?
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  • Movie Pass Adventures: Grand Theft Hamlet

    A shot from Grand Theft Hamlet composed in Grand Theft Auto. The shoulders and back of the head of Hamlet (Sam Crane). He is wearing a pink and grey floral t-shirt. His head is shaved on the sides and back. The hair on top is a vibrant teal. He is looking out over a sky of wispy white clouds.

    This movie is about the first play performed in a video game world, and it’s all in-game recordings. During COVID lockdown in England, two actors stumble across a giant outdoor stage and are inspired to mount an in-game production of Hamlet. I’ve never played the game, but I knew that it builds its cities based on real world locations. I was amused when I saw that the stage they found was modeled on the Hollywood Bowl, which is just a few miles from my home.

    There are some scenes that were clearly recreated to allow for some more nuanced acting, but most of the movie seems to be captures of actual rehearsals and performances. It’s a pretty fun spin on the “Let’s Put On A Show” movie.

    The Grand Movie Poster

    My silly poster project has caused me some surprising stress about the movies I choose to see. “That looks interesting, but I don’t know how I’ll spoof the poster.” My current plan: just watch the damn movies and worry about the poster after.

    This was my best idea for this movie. Does it work? Not really. It’s hard to find a GTA screenshot using one point perspective.

    A poster for Grand Theft Hamlet that vaguely resembles the poster for The Grand Budapest Hotel. Part of the Los Santos skyline, modeled after the Los Angeles skyline, with smaller, older buildings in the foreground. The image looks like it was designed to simulate sunset, and has an overall pink tone.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Breaking Away (1979)

    Cyclists in the Cinzao race in Breaking Away

    What a great movie. If I weren’t already into cycling, this movie would get me there.

    So, about this movie’s poster…

    The obvious parody poster would be Breaking Bad. Unfortunately, I already used that one, so I had to do something else that was more complicated, and far too difficult for me to knock out on a school night when I should be in bed. Please enjoy this concept of a plan for a poster:

    There’s a good idea in here. Somewhere.

    Now I’m going to bed. I’m tired.

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  • Movie Pass and Streaming Double Feature Adventures: Hard Truths and Hundreds of Beavers

    Hard Truths

    Partial image from Hard Truths showing Pansy and her family.

    After we saw this, my spouse said I should call this section “Mike Leigh needs a hug.”

    Some of the audience seemed to think this movie was a comedy, but it didn’t feel like one to me. Pansy says some clever things, but every word is soaked with anger and pain. She gets no relief from her caustic behavior.

    A strong movie, but holy cow it was painful to watch. You know what it needs? A silly poster.

    A poster for Hard Truths like looks maybe a bit like she's at Nakatomi Plaza.

    Hundreds of Beavers

    Some beavers and Jean Kayak in Hundreds of Beavers.

    HE TRIES TO CATCH BEAVERS BUT HE LOSES HIS CLOTHES AND GETS POOP ON HIS HEAD! AND THERE’S A GUY IN A HORSE SUIT!

    I love this movie.

    After Hard Truths I needed something silly and fun, and Hundreds of Beavers definitely qualifies. It didn’t trigger the crazy gut laughs like when I saw it the first time, but I re-watched by myself on my computer instead of in a crowded theater so that’s not surprising. I wish I could show it to my classes so they can see that great movies don’t require huge budgets, but it’s just a little too racy for me to risk playing it for middle schoolers.

    This movie doesn’t need me to make a spoof poster for it- there are some great ones out there. Seriously, look at the official Instagram feed. But I have a mission and I’m sticking with it.

    Every alternate poster I found online is better than this one.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: The Black Cat (1934)

    Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi in The Black Cat

    Do you know what the wildest part of this movie is? This:

    Text reading "Suggested by the immortal Edgar Allan Poe classic"

    Things this movie has in common with Poe’s story:

    • The title
    • a cat (briefly)

    Things this movie does not have in common with Poe’s story:

    • plot
    • characters
    • tone
    • message

    It’s fun to see Lugosi and Karloff in the same film, and to see Lugosi is a (kind of creepy, but still mostly) good guy, but good golly this movie is silly.

    Speaking of silly, here’s this movie’s really dumb poster:

    POster for The Black Cat. Man, I didn't even line the names up right. I'm such a fool!
    Did this poster make you jump?

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  • Movie Pass Adventures: The Last Showgirl

    Kieran Shipka, Pamela Anderson, and Brenda Song huddled together and crying.

    The buzz about this movie was stuff like “Pamela Anderson’s greatest performance! Incredible!” That sounds great until you remember that she’s never been known as a great actress. I don’t mean to sell her short- there are some scenes where she is absolutely riveting- but they are surrounded by acting that ranges from “okay” to “bewildering.” Jamie Lee Curtis is strong, as she always is when not terribly miscast and slogging through dreck. But my favorite performance was from Dave Bautista, who gets to play small and subtle. I’m really glad he’s been able to somehow avoid always being cast as “Large Angry Fighting Person.”

    And now some (very) slightly sad news!

    I started making fake posters this year so I could use them as replacements on Letterboxd, but the site where they draw posters from is cracking down on fan art, which means this is the last one you’ll see on Letterboxd (and it will probably disappear from there). The good news: you’ll still see them here! Another great reason to visit my blog!

    Alternate poster for The Last Showgirl roughly copies the look of the ad campaign for Star Wars: The Last Jedi.
    Othe spoof considered include: The Las Starfighter, The Last Dragon, and Last of the Red Hot Lovers
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  • Streaming Retro Movie Adventures: My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

    Mei in My Neighbor Totoro

    My students have raved about this movie for decades. Decades! I always thought “I’m sure it’s good, but I’m too old to enjoy it.”

    It’s wonderful. I’m not sure how a movie that starts with almost twenty minutes of people moving into a house is so charming, but it was absolutely captivating. The animation works so well that I found myself thinking “that girl is really good; I wonder if she made other movies.” Not if the voice actor had done more work- if the animated girl had continued her acting career.

    That’s two kid movies in a row that I watched and enjoyed after years of people saying “watch this – you’ll enjoy it.” Maybe it’s time to accept I should finally watch Paddington 2.

    Would you like a confusing poster?

    A poster for My Neighbor Totoro in the style of the first Terminator poster.
    “I’ll be back… with acorns.”

    All my silly posters can be found here: https://letterboxd.com/dogwelder/list/movies-i-watched-in-2025/

    At least, they’ll be there if they don’t get mysteriously pulled.

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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Speed Racer (2018)

    Sparky, Mom Racer, Pops Racer, Trixie, and Speed in Speed Racer.

    I really thought I’d seen this one already, but as I was watching today I realized there were huge chunks I didn’t know at all. I’m glad I gt to see this in a theater, because this movie is big and bright and has ALL the colors. It’s not afraid to be a giant cartoon. It’s smart enough to know that a race movie needs lots of car crashes, but takes advantage of cartoon reality to make sure no one dies. Everyone in an crash gets wrapped in magic safety bubbles or just happens to have a parachute.

    But the best part of the movie was the woman sitting next to me who could barely contain her excitement. If a tenth of the people who saw this when it came out loved it as much as she did, this thing would have made a zillion dollars.

    Hey look a poster!

    Movie poster for Speed Racer modeled after Breaking Bad.
    He’s a demon. His engine is the one that knocks, but only if he uses cheap gas.
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