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Uncategorized

A Dad ramble.

Dad's razor.

Today I saw Dad’s face – his actual, physical face – for the last time. Dad wasn’t actually there. He’d left the day before, but his body got a little extra time to hang around.

I shaved before we left for the mortuary. A few years ago (or maybe ten) I had read a few things about how great old-school safety razors were and I wanted to try one. Dad had switched to disposables, so he gave me his. I don’t know why he stopped using it. It really is a more comfortable and cheaper way to shave. But it was a very Dad thing to give me something I wanted even if he had made a different choice.

It wasn’t a memorial; this was technically just the identification of the body. In the past there probably would have only been Mom and one of my siblings there, and an actual service would have happened later. But these are not normal times, and there’s no telling how long it will be before a memorial happens. My sister and one of my brothers live two states away; there was no way for them to be here.

The mortuary did its best to give us something for closure. They laid Dad’s body out in the chapel area and let our family say goodbye. They did a good job with his face, but as natural as it was he still looked like he had fallen asleep and a prankster beautician gave him a secret makeover.

Mom, Katherine, Me

I broke social distancing rules for the second time in two days. Both times it was to hug Mom. It was absolutely worth it.

Katherine took advantage of the moment to get in a photobomb. Dad would have liked that.

Dad
Dad.

Dad was a funny guy. On the old version of this site I wrote about his accidental garden. He could find the dark cloud in any silver lining, but he also loved to laugh and joke. He could tell a two minute story in just under thirty minutes. He never met a chair he couldn’t sleep in. He loved a good loaf of bread. He would wear any t-shirt as long as he could reasonably fit into it, and the sillier it was the more likely he’d wear it. He was always organizing, and always making piles of random stuff. I missed the organization gene, but doubled down on the random piles to make up for it. His love for Mom, for all of us, was not a complicated thing. It was just there, and that was that.

Bike tire with a hole.

I was getting ready to ride my bike to visit Mom when I saw the message from Katherine, who was on her way to Yosemite for a few secluded days in a friend’s cabin.

Call me ASAP.

I knew exactly what that meant before I called her.

I decided I’d still ride over; the hour or so would be a good time to get my head together. I cued up “Rhapsody In Blue,” one of the few bits of music I knew Dad liked, or at least that I thought I remembered that he liked, and started my ride. I could hear why Dad would like it. Like him, it’s switches between structure and meandering all the time. That Gershwin guy has potential.

A bit after the music ended I got a flat. Then my pump screwed up my spare tube and I laughed, because of course it did. But it worked out, because Katherine had canceled her trip and come home so we could go over together. So: thank you, flat tire.


I was uncomfortable at the memorial-that-wasn’t-a-memorial. Seeing Dad’s body helped make Dad’s death real, and I was happy to be there to support Mom, but a lot of it felt like an attempt to Create A Special Moment, and special moments are hard to force. Afterward at the house, when we were just talking about whatever was on our minds, I relaxed. The special moments were here, in the house where I grew up, in the house where Dad lived for most of his life, not in the mortuary we had never been inside.

So long, Dad. I love you. I don’t believe in an afterlife, but if I’m wrong I hope they’ve got lots of fresh bread and good mustard there for you.

That's my Dad.
That’s my Dad.
Categories
50ish Recent Songs

50ish Recent Tracks

Haven’t done one of these for a while. 50ish recent tracks, mostly picked by my phone.

Immigrant Song – Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross Feat. Karen O
From the American film version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

Turning of the Tide – Bob Mould
Let’s Go Slow (with Rob Shear) – Jules Shear
Morning Flowers – Wax Witches
It Tango – Laurie Anderson
Blues For Yesterday – Louis Armstrong

Whip It – Philip Steir and Ramin Sakurai Remix Devo

On Your Own – Blur
No More Kings – Pavement

An Ear for Baby – The Thermals

The Opposite Of Hallelujah – Jens Lekman
The Sheik of Araby – Edmond Hall Sextet
Feelings (ft. Maggy Lee) – Treasure
Stranded – Shawn Colvin
All I Wanna Do – Jakob Ogawa
Dead Finks Don’t Talk – Brian Eno
No Complaints – Beck

Still Not a Player – Incubus and Big Pun

Glad To Be Unhappy – The Mamas & The Papas
Waiting For The Sun – Powderfinger
Only Matters When – UV-TV
Slip Away – Clarence Carter
Rain King – Counting Crows
Navy Blue (Alt Tk Of Above) – Stan Getz
In The Midnight Hour – Wilson Pickett

Lesson 3 – Double Dee + Steinski

Long Vermont Roads – The Magnetic Fields
Palm Of Your Hand – Cake
Truckdrivin Neighbors Downstairs – Beck
What To Say – Bill Nickson
Celebration – They Might Be Giants
Wouldn’t It Be Nice To See For Miles – The Who Boys
Don’t Ever Leave Me – Connie Francis
Paperbacks – Arlo Parks
Up The Morning – Babyshambles
No You Didn’t No You Don’t – The Courteeners
Get Me By – Boy Scout
Hawaiian War Chant – Billy Mure
The Distance – Cake

So It Goes – Nick Lowe

A Little More for Little You – The Hives
It Was a Good Day – Ice Cube
I Get A Kick – Jungle Brothers
Stupid Thumbs – Sugar John
Under Daisies – Monogold
Lightness – Dead Times
Daydream – Boy Romeo
Kiss the Devil – Eagles of Death Metal

My Philosophy – KRS-One

The Haunted Mansion: Grim Grinning Ghosts – Disney
Blister in the Sun – Violent Femmes

Categories
Music

Alas, Poor KROQ

Image source: http://www.tvparty.com/homeroom1/10-06-81.html

I saw this article in Variety about the death of KROQ.

LISTEN UP, YOUNGSTERS! AN OLD MAN IS ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

I’m really sad that Post Malone is on KROQ. You might think I mean “that’s not KROQ music!” And I do think that- but I probably don’t think it the way you think I think it.

As I said above, I am an old man. I’ll be 54 in two weeks. I’ve started listening to KROQ at the start of the eighties, when it sounded like a college station that liked to get drunk and fight with its best friend, pirate radio. You might hear Van Halen, you might hear Devo, you might hear the theme from The Jetsons.

You would almost certainly hear the theme from The Jetsons. It wouldn’t have sounded like this though; it would have sounded like someone recorded it by holding a mic up to a TV.

DJs would have a loose playlist, but they really played whatever they wanted to play. They brought in their personal records (remember records?). You could call and make a request and it might actually get played. They played some mainstream music, most of what they played couldn’t be heard anywhere else. And new, weird sounds showed up all the time.

Not all of the new sounds were good ones.

I loved listening because I knew I’d hear things that were only on KROQ. I’d probably hear something I’d never heard before.

But then radio shifted, and KROQ shifted with them. “KROQ music” started moving onto more conventional stations. KROQ started to sound like New Wave Oldies. How many times can you play the Red Hot Chili Peppers in a day? A lot, apparently.

Somewhere along the way I stopped listening. The old music was old, and I owned any of it I wanted to hear. The new music didn’t appeal to me, and I thought that was a good thing. I’ve always told my students that every generation needs music that the previous one doesn’t like, or at least doesn’t understand. KROQ was never about appealing to older people, and I had become older people.

So you might think I’d be fine with Post Malone on KROQ, since he clearly fits the “not for old people” profile. But he’s not weird and new. He’s already a pop star. And he’s pretty mainstream. You can’t be an outsider and write the theme to a Spider-Man cartoon movie. Even worse: I like some Post Malone stuff.

It’s probably time to let KROQ die. Radio stations can only adapt so much before the world passes them. Online sources make even early KROQ look stodgy and professional. The current format will get played with, shuffled, adjusted, rejiggered, and eventually – probably soon – they’ll abandon the whole thing and start over. It happens. When it does, KROQ will join stations like KMET, KDAY, and KNAC as wistful memories of old farts like me.

SPECIAL BONUS: I used to be a big enough fan of KROQ that I would make KROQ-specific websites. Here’s one. It might look bad now, but at the time it looked terrible.

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Uncategorized

End of the Year!

I posted about how hard the last few weeks have been. It’s time for a little counterbalancing. Here’s the end of the year video I put together with the help of our staff and students. Enjoy!

https://drive.google.com/open?id=17UxqsxnAXC6AzrNyaF_9T7kw3z-JB10c

Categories
COVID work

Two Hours

I did something today I haven’t done for two months: I worked at school. First I shot some video of our principal, then I helped clean out lockers.

It was hard.

Dr. Macias and I talked a bit about this year, and about the next. Next year’s kids will almost certainly be going to a school where they are rarely on campus, and never all on campus at the same time. Electives and physical education are particularly impacted. I teach digital media, and there is simply no way to be socially distant in a computer lab. I do not know how (or what) I will be teaching in August.

After the video, I went on locker duty.

Every locker is open. Most of them had school locks that were opened with a master key. Some had personal locks; those were opened with bolt cutters. Every unchecked locker has a profile page of the student to whom it’s assigned. It was the first time I had seen most of those faces since we closed.

The lockers are weird little ghosts of the students that once used them. Some students are organized – their lockers are usually empty. Some students are a little less focused. Their lockers look like mine did when I was their age: messy and stuffed with whatever weird trinkets I loved that week.

I know the kid who owns this backpack. He thinks it’s hilarious.

One of the lockers had a big pink and purple button that read “I REALLY WISH I WEREN’T HERE RIGHT NOW!” It was absolutely right and completely wrong. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to be throwing student treasures into plastic bags. But I wanted to be there. I wanted to be making jokes with students, complaining about “that kid” to my friends at the lunch table, working out final grades, watching students get ready for high school and beyond.

Is it a Spongebob thing? It looks Spongebobian.

Our eighth graders always have a big promotion ceremony. Family and friends fill the PE field. Awards are given. Crowds shout and applaud. Friends hug. Summers together are planned. Students get one last moment as a single group before they get split up and absorbed into larger schools, before they really make the first steps from adolescence to adulthood.

This year they will get a video they can watch at home. Teachers are working to make that video something special, but it will always be more isolated and distant. Next year will probably be even more disconnected.

I’m not in the center of this thing. I spent two hours bagging belongings, not two months bagging bodies. But if my tiny actions on the edge of this pandemic hurt this much, I can’t imagine what it’s like at the epicenter.

Take care of yourselves.

I really wish we weren’t here right now.

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Bike Mortal Enemy ridesfv

A WINNER IS ME!

My Mortal Foe, Daniel Quinn: VANQUISHED!

Peep this:

DEVASTATING. YOU’RE DEVASTATED.

TWENTY FIVE POINT TWO PERCENT. Pity poor Daniel Quinn, for his paltry 25.02% of the Valley has been crushed.

This is me:

…and this is PATHETIC HAS BEEN DANIEL QUINN:

At this point, the only way he could possibly catch me is if he rode SEVEN MILES. IMPOSSIBLE! NO MAN CAN RIDE SEVEN MILES AND LIVE TO TELL THE TALE.

My glory will never be surpassed!

The killing blow:

Now go and tell the world of this glorious day!

(maybe don’t tell Daniel)

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Bike Mortal Enemy ridesfv

Closing in on my Mortal Enemy as a new foe appears

As you know, Daniel Quinn is my mortal enemy – but my campaign to defeat him is working!

At the start of this month, I had covered 18.66 percent of the San Fernando Valley. Quinn had 24.9 percent, the cruel coward! But the tides are turning, old friend. This month he has only added a PATHETIC 0.7 miles to his Valley total.

Now check this out:

Oh, yeah- unreadable maps are my jam!

Including today’s ride to Tujunga & Sunland, I have added 88.3!

I now have conquered 21.16 percent of the Valley, more than 40 percent of the gap between us. If I maintain THIS EXACT PACE (which seems impossible to deny as possible) , then I will best this cruel tyrant on May 6th, and there will be much rejoicing!

Unless he rides his bike in the Valley between now and then… just the kind of decietful trickery I have come to expect from this blackguard, this lout, this contemptible scoundrel. I MUST BE VIGILANT AND WARY!

And then there’s Hunter Baoengstrum. He is not my foe…YET.

It is only a matter of time.

Why do I say this? Because Hunter Baoengstrum is systematically riding all the streets of Los Angeles County. He hasn’t started the Valley, but it’s only a matter of time. And look at the ride HE went on yesterday:

He is a mindless biking machine.

FIFTY-FOUR NEW MILES. IN ONE DAY. Sure it took him six hours, but HE DID IT. One day he will cross the Santa Monica Mountains and begin his attack. When he does, Daniel Quinn and I will face a true challenge. A challenge that will probably require Daniel and I to enter into an uneasy truce to defeat Hunter. A truce that the nefarious Daniel will break when he reveals that the two of them have been secret allies all along, plotting my destruction. BUT I AM ON TO BOTH OF YOU. Your plot is doomed to fail! I SHALL TRIUMPH AGAINST ALL ODDS!

Also: Here’s a fun little video showing today’s ride:

Categories
50ish Recent Songs

50ish recent songs

50ish recent tracks, mostly picked by my phone.

I listen to some goofy stuff.

Eraserhead Serenade – RIAA

Are You a Magician? – SoKo
Candy-Coated Popcorn, Peanuts and a Prize [Crackerjack commercial]
The Ties That Bind – Bruce Springsteen

Museum of Idiots – They Might Be Giants

How Now (ft. Feist) – Snowblink
Remote Control – Beastie Boys

Love Me Or Leave Me – Ella Fitzgerald

World Of Shit – Eels
Garden – herbal tea
Hard to Handle – Otis Redding
Shrooms – Interlude – The Lonely Island

Squalor Victoria – The National

True Love Ways – Buddy Holly
Try It Baby – Marvin Gaye
Got No Heart – The Paper Hearts
A Fine Romance – Billie Holiday
Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel
Country Sad Ballad Man – Blur
Dream TV – The Sugarcubes
Who’s Mess, Who’s Tears – Made-Up
Wild Situation – Dennis Wilson

Hour – Porches

Funky Boss – Beastie Boys
Beside You – Van Morrison
I’m Gonna Let My Heart Do The Walking – Diana Ross and The Supremes
People Are Like Suns – Crowded House
Breakers – Local Natives
Calling Miss Khadija – Freddie Hubbard & Woody Shaw

The Marvel Superheroes Have Arrived – Marvel
Okay, here’s a creepy thing I never noticed before: Sub-Mariner is described as “exotically erotic.” Just what kids are looking for. Ew.

Oldest Story In The World – The Plimsouls
For Baby (For Bobby) – Peter, Paul & Mary
Jet Boy, Jet Girl – The Damned
Hey Ya – Outkast
Turn Away – Beck

Metropolis – The Pogues

In Dreamed Lives – Tender Tones
April Come She Will – Simon and Garfunkel
I’m Looking Through You – Ted Leo
Apartment – L I P S
I’m Telling You – CAPTAIN SCOTT
You Bowed Down – Elvis Costello
Champagne & The Starlite – Theya Hermann
Disappear – Beyoncé
Slow and Low – Beastie Boys

Bowling With Bedrock Barney – The Dickies

Captions – Dog Traders
Less – Ben Harper
Beggar’s Bliss – Luna
I Hate Myself For Loving You – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Honey Power – My Bloody Valentine
Taneo Dance Fever – Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra
Digging For Clams – Almonds, Cohen

Categories
COVID Photoshop

Social Distancing Magazine

Categories
COVID Photoshop

Corona Cover: Cindy

CINDY: The Nurse Who Craved PPE
At least give her a t-shirt or something.