Move Over, Weight Watchers!

Our old bathroom scale does that thing where it gives a different weight every time you step on it. So I did some research and bought a scale listed as most consistently accurate. I weighed myself this morning and it claimed I lost a couple of pounds overnight. I thought “You bought this because the old one wasn’t working right- of course they don’t match.” To prove it I weighed myself on the old scale.

It also said I lost a couple of pounds overnight.

I have learned the secret of rapid weight loss: MAKE YOUR OLD SCALE JEALOUS.

Better than here – Because other people are funnier than me

Have you visited yet? You should. They make one of my favorite things: fake book covers. Like this one:


50ish Recent Songs Bike

50ish Recent Songs, and the Best Song of Today’s Ride

50ish recent songs, mostly picked by my phone. About half of them were from today’s ride, where I decided to get a pinch flat AND whack my hand into a utility box.

Oh, and I didn’t tighten the bolts on my new cleats enough, so one came loose. NEAT.

Big Time – Peter Gabriel
The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room) – Flight of the Conchords
I Heard It Through the Grapevine – Marvin Gaye

The Girl Is Mine – Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine – You haven’t heard this song until you’ve heard a lounge version with Stephen Hawking.

Cartrouble, Pts. 1 & 2 [Original Album Version] – Adam and The Ants
No Rain – Blind Melon

Julie’s Been Working For The Drug Squad – The Clash

Hot Hot Hot!!! – The Cure
One Way Or Another – Blondie
Everybody’s a Star (Starmaker) (mono mix) – The Kinks
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight – The Postal Service
Yew – BUHU
Hard To Handle – The Black Crowes
Bedlam – Elvis Costello And The Imposters
Train In Vain – The Clash
Birthday – The Beatles
Pretty In Pink – The Psychedelic Furs
Chicago (acoustic version) – Sufjan Stevens
Three Car Jam – Minutemen

Love Will Tear Us Apart – The Hot 8 Brass Band – presented in its original form as a New Orleans jazz band song.

The Loved One – INXS
Miracle Cure – The Who
13 A Sky Blue Rhapsody – ccc – ill chemist
Boys Don’t Cry – Grant Lee Phillips
All You Ever Think About Is Sex [12″ Club Version] – Sparks
It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) – R.E.M.
Breakfast – Evolution Control Committee
A Sight For Sore Eyes – Tom Waits

American Tune – Paul Simon – Winner, Best Song of the Ride. I think Katherine knows this song.

New Moon on Monday – Duran Duran
Scarecrow – Beck
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey – My Brightest Diamond
Livin’ on a Prayer (Bon Jovi cover) (BL Rewind 2) – The Boat People
Nusrath Fateh Ali Khan – Piya Re Piya Re (Remix)
When I’m Sixty-Four – The Beatles
Alina’s Place – Fredrik

The Old Saloon – The Lonely Island – The most important song of a generation.

Falling – Howard
Where Do I Begin – The Chemical Brothers
Little Miss S. – Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
The Mighty Hercules – Johnny Nash
Lucky #9 (video version) – The Moldy Peaches
Poses – Kiki Pau
Graceland – Paul Simon
Abracadabra – Steve Miller Band
Hammering In My Head – Garbage
Same Changes – Sam Phillips
Tomorrow Wendy – Andy Prieboy
Transatlanticism – Death Cab For Cutie
The Tracks Of My Tears – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

Hombre Secreto (Secret Agent Man) – Plugz – I used to play the hell out of this soundtrack.

Today’s ride. I actually had a short second ride, but it was slow and silly.


The three best songs of today’s ride

I had to try out my new shoes, so I did my usual loop around Balboa Park. It was a good ride. One sign of a good ride is a moment where I think “this is a really good bike song.” Today there were three. In order from least to most good (today):

They Might Be Giants: Istanbul (Not Constantinople)

Brian’s favorite band. Their cover is much perkier than the original version.

The Jam – Town Called Malice

A great song that Weezer casually stole and made happy, it would have been number one if not for the last song of the ride…

The Dead Milkmen – Punk Rock Girl

Oh, this song. It would never make any top ten list of mine, but it sure feels good when you’re on the last half mile and you want a little push.

Today’s ride:


New Shoes

My bike shoes are three and a half years old. They were fine- biking is not exactly tough on the soles- but I needed a second pair for work. Of course, as soon as I ordered the new pair, the old pair started falling apart. THEY KNEW.

My bike shoes.
Left: old and busted.
Right: New Hotness.
In the back: gloves (in case you need to dye your hair).

The new ones look more like sneakers, which is nice. They also look more like clown shoes, which might be okay as well. BONUS! One of my bikes is yellow, and the other is olive green. my feet will match either bike, which is what makes bikes fast.

Leo from Twin Peaks would be so happy.

I was going to put a video of Leo saying “new shoes,” but he’s gross and drooly., so you get some Angelo Badalamenti instead.
Leo is excited.
I told you he’d be happy.


My fingers didn’t like this ride

I ride a lot in the summer. I’m used to heat. I ride wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt.

Today was not hot: Sunny, but mid forties to low fifties. Not the best weather for thin shorts. I did adjust my clothing a tiny bit: I wore a long sleeved shirt. That helped my arms, but did nothing for my fingers or ears, which were mad at me for most of the ride.

Tomorrow: gloves!


I make important things.

Sometimes a dumb idea appears and must be indulged.

Please enjoy some bad writing about sex

Don’t write like this. If you do write like this, don’t send it to a publisher. It’s creepy, embarrassing, and hilarious. You could be doing much more valuable things, like finally cleaning out that space under the kitchen sink or taking a really good nap.

Also: don’t publish writing like this. That’s paper that could be still be trees. Instead it’s a permanent record of a complete lack of understanding of composition, physical intimacy, and basic anatomy.

I changed my mind. Publish all writing like this. It accidentally brings the reader satisfaction. I hope that’s not a parallel to anything in the authors’ lives.

Bike ridesfv

Today’s Silly Little Ride

I thought the hardest part of riding every street in the San Fernando Valley would be the long stretches, but so far it’s the back-and-forth required to get every side street and alley.

I’m sure once I start getting up into the hills I’ll wish I was doing twisty flat rides again.

Today’s goofy ride:

You can see my total progress here:

50ish Recent Songs

50ish Recent Songs

50ish recent songs, mostly chosen by my phone. BONUS: a link to a full length feature film! Not a good film, but still: film!

Distant Sky – Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
Gerson’s Whistle – Yeasayer

I Should Have Known Better – She & Him

Remember that time you wanted a folky cover of a Beatles song done by Zoe Deschanel? Well, here it is!

America – Simon and Garfunkel
…Something Like That – Airline Food
The Coast – Paul Simon
Sa Trincha – Smell of Paradise
Feed me to the Lions – Adam and The Ants

I’m Not There – Sonic Youth

Because when you think “Sonic Youth” you immediately think “Bob Dylan covers.”

Concerto in A – Sicilienne – Telemann
Harm – The Munitors
Catch The Rainbow – Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra

It’s Too Quiet – John Frost
This is actually a New Detective sketch from KROQ. I used to love these, but now the silly fun is muted by the casual racism of “Socky, the little foreign office boy.”

Reckless – Liam Finn
Hot Car – Being Dead
The Greys – Frightened Rabbit

Israel – Miles Davis

Y’like JAZZ?

Baby Hallelujah – Konradsen
The Balance – Royal Tongues
Naima (alternate take) – John Coltrane
The Loved Ones – Elvis Costello and the Attractions

Van Morrison – U.T.A. Texas Hall – Dec 13, 1973 – Radio Commercial
I have a bunch of these old commercials. I love hearing stuff like “Come see Van Morrison. Tickets are five bucks at the door.”

Class System (featuring Pharrell Wiliams & Julee Cruise) – Handsome Boy Modeling School
Catch 22 – Send Dudes
Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen
Love Will Tear Us Apart – Joy Division
Know Your Rights – The Clash

Our Lips Are Sealed – The Go-Go’s

My first time watching this video is the official starting point of my Jane Wiedlin crush.

Tired Eyes – Neil Young
Best Friend – The Beat
Sugar Daddy – Frank Black
Everybody Knows (Ft. Mating Ritual) – RAEKO
Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots Pt. 1 – The Flaming Lips
Can’t Let Go – Lucinda Williams
Fill the Void – Oingo Boingo
Traits De Caractere – Paris Combo

These Burgers (live ’01) – The Moldy Peaches

Great song, or greatest song?

Late For The Sky – Jackson Browne
Changes – David Bowie
True Love Will Find You In The End – Beck
The Last Ten Homes – Mice Parade
My Funny Valentine – Ben Webster
Movie Theme – John Wesley Harding
Little Green Bag – George Baker Selection
We Live So Fast – Heaven 17
Steven Stills – Poco – Tarrant C. C. C. – Jul 15, 1975 – Rock Show Commercial

Triple Terror Show ad 2 – Commercial

This is an ad for three grindhouse films: Blood of Ghastly Horror, Naked Evil, and The Gorilla Gang. Youtube actually has the full movie of Blood of Ghastly Horror. If that’s too much time to invest in a crappy film, at least watch the trailer for Gorilla Gang. It’s magical.

The full ding-dong movie!
“Evilcolor” appears to be the same as “Black and White.”
I think this really happened.

The Distance – Cake
Fleetwood Mac – Kansas – Memorial Aud. – May 19, 1975 – Rock Show Commercial
Try – Delta 5
Walkinonit – J Dilla
Sweet And Lovely – Thelonious Monk Quartet with John Coltrane
Sunday – The Cranberries