Category: movies

  • Walk of Fame Movies: Postal Inspector and Ricardo Cortez

    Bela Lugosi, Patricia Ellis, and David Oliver in Postal Inspector.
    Michael Loring and Patricia Ellis in Postal Inspector.

    Well, this one’s a stinker. More than once it tries to make asking someone “Did any of this happen by mail? Do you have the correspondence?” seem really exciting. It feels like a particularly dull episode of Dragnet. It also features the lead actor complaining about his little brother’s girlfriend for no reason.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Ricardo Cortez's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Ricardo Cortez.

    Ricardo Cortez (1500 Vine Street) plays Inspector Bill Davis. He was born Jacob Kranze (or Krantz), but the studio thought he’d sell better as a Latin Lover than a Jewish guy. He had a long career: mostly as a character actor, but he was also the first Sam Spade in the 1931 version of The Maltese Falcon. I’m not sure how I landed on this dud to watch him.

    Today’s fake poster is all about the inspectors, baby:

    A fake poster for Postal Inspector mimicking the poster for Inspector Gadget.
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  • Walk of Fame Movies: Dance, Girl, Dance and Dorothy Arzner

    Lucille Ball and Maureen O'Hara in Dance, Girl, Dance.
    Lucille Ball, Maureen O'Hara and Virginia Field in Dance, Girl, Dance.

    Maureen O’Hara and Louis Hayward might be top billed, but this is Lucille Ball’s movie. I really only knew her work from I Love Lucy onward, so it was kind of wild to see her as a sexy burlesque star dancing the hula.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Dorothy Arzner's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Dorothy Arzner.

    Dance, Girl, Dance was directed by Dorothy Arzner (1500 Vine Street) and HOLY CRAP WAS SHE AWESOME. The first woman in the Director’s Guild of America, the first woman to direct a sound film, and the inventor of the freaking boom mic!

    She had a 40 year relationship with choreographer Marion Martin. She tried to keep her private life private, but she never hid who she was.

    Today’s fake poster comes from a different Girl movie.

    A fake poster for Dance, Girl, Dance mimicking the poster for Girl, Interrupted.
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  • Walk of Fame Movies: I’m No Angel and Mae West

    Mae West and Cary Grant in I'm No Angel.
    Mae West and a Lion in I'm No Angel
    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Mae West's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Mae West.

    Normally I write a little blurb about the movie and a second blurb about the featured Walk of Fame person, but I don’t think it’s possible to separate these two.

    Mae West (1560 Vine Street) isn’t my cup of tea, but she was an undeniable powerhouse. She was a woman in her forties (who didn’t try to hide her age) who wrote her own movies, and and didn’t shy away from sex right as the Hayes Code was cracking down on movie content.

    Part of the problem I had with this movie was I kept thinking “She’s just doing a Mae West impression.” She made her self into such an icon that watching her movies now feels like a parody, even though she’s the source.

    Today’s fake poster is based completely on both movies having “No” in the title.

    A fake poster for I'm No Angel mimicking the poster for No Country For Old Men.
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  • Streaming Movie Adventures: The Daytrippers

    Parker Posey & Hope Davis in The Daytrippers
    Anne Meara, Liev Schrieber, and Parker Posey in The Daytrippers

    If this movie were made now, the production company would have hired someone to ghostwrite Liev Schreiber’s “man with a dog head” book.

    I recently had a wave of fake posters that worked really well. That appears to have passed. This is another “there’s a good idea in there somewhere, I think” poster.

    A fake poster for The Daytrippers mimicking the poster for Die Another Day.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movies: Jewel Robbery and Helen Vinson

    Kay Francis and William Powell in Jewel Robbery.
    William Powell and Kay Francis in Jewel Robbery.

    Some clues that this is a pre-Code film:

    • The first scene is two scantily clad women talking about cheating on their husbands.
    • Two men are openly pursuing one of the married women.
    • One of the men is a charming jewel thief, and the woman is into it big time.
    • The thief casually hands out weed, and it gets smoked.
    • All law enforcement is either inept or corrupt

    …and of course the thief gets away.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Helen Vinson's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Helen Vinson.

    This was Helen Vinson’s first movie role. She acted for a dozen or so years before retiring. Her star is at 1560 Vine Street.

    Today’s poster is based on a very similar film about police corruption.

    A fake poster for Jewel Robbery mimicking the poster for Serpico.

  • Movie Pass Adventures: Good Fortune

    Aziz Ansari and Keanu Reeves in Good Fortune.
    Keanu Reeves in Good Fortune.

    I wonder if I would have liked Aziz Ansari’s first attempt at directing more than this, but Bill Murray creepiness apparently killed that project. This is pretty mediocre, but Keanu is perfectly cast as a dim-witted angel.

    Today’s poster is also mediocre, but I thing the logos for the movie and Lionsgate-as-Nickelodeon work.

    A fake poster for Good Fortune poorly mimicking the poster for Good Burger.

    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movies: The Young in Heart and Richard Wallace

    Roland Young, Paulette Goddard, Billie Piper, and Douglas Fairbanks Jr. in The Young in Heart.
    Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and Paulette Goddard in The Young in Heart.

    I would buy a Flying Wombat from Roland Young.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Richard Wallace's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Richard Wallace.

    The most interesting fact I could find about Richard Wallace- and who knows if it’s actually factual- is that he made the jump from shorts to full length films with the help of noted identity chameleon Corrine Griffith.

    I kept wanting to call this movie “The Young at Heart,” so this is a good choice for a fake poster.

    A fake poster for The Young in Heart mimicking the poster for Wild at Heart.
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  • Walk of Fame movies: You’d Be Surprised and Earle Williams

    Dorothy Sebastian and Raymond Griffith in You'd Be Surprised.
    Dorothy Sebastian and Raymond Griffith in You'd Be Surprised.

    I wonder if this was originally written as a play. Almost every scene is shot in the same room from the same angle. It’s supposed to be a murder mystery, but that’s really just an excuse for Raymond Griffith to do his shtick.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Earle Williams's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Earle Williams.

    Eleven years before this movie, Earle Williams (1560 Vine Street) was voted America’s number one star. A year after it was released, he was dead from pneumonia.

    Today’s fake poster is my second James Bond ripoff homage.

    A fake poster for You'd Be Surprised mimicking the poster for You Only Live Twice.
    Hey, a coroner is like a spy, right?

    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movies: Unfaithfully Yours and Kurt Kreuger

    Linda Darnell and Rex Harrison in Unfaithfully Yours.
    Linda Darnell, Kurt Kreuger, and Rex Harrison in Unfaithfully Yours.

    Okay, I’ll admit it: sometimes I’m dumb. The whole idea of this movie is that Rex Harrison has fantasies about dealing with his possibly cheating wife, but I didn’t realize they were fantasies until the first one ended. This is even though the camera literally zooms right up to Harrison’s face and into his eye before each vignette.

    This movie is a lot of fun if you disregard the sudden turn from the most devoted husband ever to would-be murderer and back over the course of a few hours.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Kurt Kreuger's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Kurt Kreuger.

    Kurt Kreuger (1560 Vine Street) plays Harrison’s assistant. This is a change from a lot of the roles Kreuger was getting. He was just the right look and age to get cast as a bunch of Nazis, and he wasn’t thrilled about it.

    Today’s poster reminds us that what’s mine is yours, and what’s enemy is unfaithfully.

    A fake poster for Unfaithfully Yours mimicking the poster for Enemy Mine.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: Predator: Badlands

    Elle Fanning and Dek from Predator: Badlands.
    Dek the Predator's yes from Predator: Badlands

    If you want to make a PG-13 movie but still have tons of blood and dismemberment, make everyone an android or an alien, and make sure their blood is anything other than red. Then it’s just fun!

    Today’s fake poster was an obvious choice.

    A fake poster for Predator Badlands mimicking the poster for Badlands.

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