Tag: movies

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Women (1939) and Mary Boland

    Joan Crawford and Norma Shearer staring at each other in The Women.
    The cast of The Women.

    This movie has an all-female cast, is over two hours long, and still somehow never manages to have a single conversation that isn’t centered around men. The message of the movie: if you love your husband, don’t mess things up by complaining about a little cheating.

    Also: this movie is in black and white, except for a shift to color in the middle that probably would have seemed much cooler if The Wizard of Oz hadn’t come out two weeks before this.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Mary Boland's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Mary Boland.

    Mary Boland’s acting niche was apparently “older woman who takes young lovers.” She has a pretty hefty part in this as Countess DeLave, a woman who helps the lead character find the strength to give up her pride and fight to win back her cheating husband. Girl power, I guess!

    Today’s fake poster is completely based on the title of the movie being two words, with the first one being “the.”

    A fake poster for The Women mimicking the poster for The Departed

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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Hi Diddle Diddle (1943) and Pola Negri

    The cast of Hi Diddle Diddle
    Adolphe Menjou and Pola Negri in Hi Diddle Diddle.

    Fun mindless nonsense. Not afraid to go full screwball. Also, apparently Tarantino loves this movie.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Pola Negri's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Pola Negri.

    Pola Negri was an actor who was also an opera singer. She plays an opera singer in this, but the twist is that she’s playing a bad opera singer. Gotta love someone unafraid to poke fun at themselves.

    Today’s poster is all about doubled words. Today’s poster is all about doubled words.

    A poster for Hi Diddle Diddle mimicking the poster for Kramer vs. Kramer.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Show People (1928) and Karl Dane

    Marion Davies in Show People
    The cast of Show People

    thought I was past the point of laughing at people making silly faces, but Marion Davies made me giggle. This is a “small town girl goes to Hollywood to make it big” movie, and it’s full of references to and cameos of stars who have faded from public memory. At one point Peggy (Davies) gets excited and yells “That’s John Gilbert!”, and I had to look him up to see if he was a real person or made up for the movie (he was real). I did recognize Charlie Chaplin, though.

    This movie is a sort-silent film. There’s no recorded dialogue, but it came with a soundtrack record. Trying to keep them synchronized must have been a nightmare for the projectionist.

    Walk of Fame: Karl Dane

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Karl Dane's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Karl Dane.

    Much like Mona Barrie and Syncopation, I picked this movie specifically to see a Karl Dane performance, and he’s barely in it. He does a thirty second bit as himself at a luncheon. I probably should have gone with The Red Mill.

    Dane is one of those successful actors who had their career killed by sound pictures; He had a thick Dutch accent, and no one could understand him. He looked for other work, but ended up broke. He died from suicide, and only received a proper funeral when MGM was shamed into paying for it.

    Today’s poster is all about the people. It’s also my second attempt at reasonable handwriting in a week. I need more practice.

    A fake poster for Show people mimicking the poster for Ordinary People.
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  • Movie (no) Pass Adventures: Weapons

    Stylized image of Julia Garner in Weapons.
    A in silhouette child running across a street at night in the movie Weapons.

    Fun. Spooky. Sometimes gory. And no spoilers, but as a guy who just had to do his mandated reporter training for at least the fifteenth time, I feel pretty confident saying that Child Protective Services doesn’t work like that.

    I went for the obvious with today’s poster.

    A fake poster for Weapons mimicking the poster for Lethal Weapon.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Syncopation (1942) and Mona Barrie

    Bonita Granville as Kit and Jackie Cooper as Johnny in Syncopation
    Todd Duncan as Rex Tearbone playing coronet in Syncopation.

    Syncopation needs to pick a lane. It starts out looking like it will be about the evolution of jazz from slave music, then about the parallel struggles of a black boy and a white girl struggling to be accepted as musicians at the start of the swing era, before (mostly) settling in to a story about a couple of white people saving jazz (as white people do in movies).

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Mona Barrie's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Mona Barrie.

    Mona Barrie has a small part in this movie, which doesn’t seem to surprise Wikipedia. Their page about Barrie says “her lack of a glamorous beauty resulted in her generally being cast in important but secondary roles.” Rude.

    Even though her part is small, I made sure to mention her on today’s fake poster.

    A fake poster for Syncopation mimicking the poster for Endless Love
    Some day I’m going to have to write about the creepiness of Endless Love.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: White Tiger (1923) and Raymond Griffith

    Priscilla Dean and Rayond Griffith in White Tiger
    Raymond Griffith, Priscilla Dean, and a Mechanical Chess Player in White Tiger

    Priscilla Dean looks like a cross between Drew Barrymore and Tina Fey. She’s easily the best part of this forgettable movie.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Raymond Griffith's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Raymond Griffith.

    I had three movie choices for Raymond Griffith:

    • A comedy called Hands Up! that’s available in very poor quality on YouTube
    • The 1930 version of All Quiet on the Western Front, where Griffith has a very small but memorable part
    • This movie

    I probably should have gone with Hands Up!. It’s a comedy, and he was a famous silent comedian (his nickname: The Man with the Silk Hat). But I’ll try to make it up to you, Raymond. If All Quiet on the Western Front comes up as an option for someone with a larger part, I’ll watch it.

    Today’s fake poster is based on a different “Color + Animal” movie.

    This is the last star at 6124 Hollywood Boulevard. Next up: 6140!

    A fake poster for White Tiger mimicking the poster for Black Swan.
    I wish there was a clearer picture, but how much can you expect to find from a movie that’s over a century old?
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  • Movie (no) Pass Adventures: Videoheaven

    Stylized image of a woman pulling a video tape in a case off a shelf.
    A man sitting at a video store counter, resting his chin on his hand.

    A documentary about video stores- a business model that started and pretty much died during my life- and how they are presented in film is a great idea. I liked this a lot, but I would have liked it more if it was a little shorter and the voice-over text was more polished.

    The challenge of making a poster from a movie made of clips from a ton of other movies is that there’s no one character to focus on. So I used it as an excuse to make a classic “one billion floating heads” poster.

    A fake poster for Videoheaven mimicking the poster for Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
    How ’bout that “shelf life” joke? Pretty good, yeah?
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Man Who Knew Too Much (1934) and Edna Best

    Leslie Banks and Peter Lorre in The Man Who Knew Too Much.
    Edna Best in The Man Who Knew Too Much.

    I haven’t seen Hitchcock’s 1956 self-remake of this, but I sure hope it’s better than this. The best thing in the movie is Peter Lorre; he’s an oily ball of creepy charm.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Edna Best's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Edna Best.

    This movie has Edna Best’s best-known part as a mother/clay pigeon sharpshooter. Her last movie was 1948’s The Iron Curtain, but she was on radio and television through most of the 1950s.

    Fun Fact: Edna Best’s star is the first one I’ve been able to identify on google maps! And someone is stepping on it- how rude!

    I almost used the poster for the 1956 version for the model of this one, but I thought this was funnier. Certainly harder to lay out!

    A fake poster for THe Man Who Knew Too Much mimicking the poster for The Man Who Fell to Earth.
    Yes, this poster (and the original version) use the same font that Iron Maiden uses.
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  • Walk of Fame Retro Movie Adventures: Seconds (1966) and Rock Hudson

    Rock Hudson, his face wrapped in bandages, while doctors examine him.
    Rock Hudson looking at multiple reflections of himself in Seconds.

    I wonder how many times Coralie Fargeat has seen this. It’s not the same story as The Substance, but it sure seems to share a lot of style DNA. I bet Lynch saw this, too.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Rock Hudson's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Rock Hudson.

    I had somehow never seen a Rock Hudson movie, so naturally the one I did see is the weirdest movie he ever made.

    Hey look! A fake poster!

    A fake poster for Seconds mimicking the poster for Say Anything.

    BONUS! Progress report!

    Here’s a rough map of the Walk of Fame and my progress. Yellow is incomplete, red is done.

    A map with the Hollywood Walk of Fame marked in yellow, and my progress marked in red. There isn't much red.
    Yeah, this is going to take a while.

    This map makes it look like I have a lot of stars to cover- and I do – but fewer than you think. It only shows completed sections. I’ve already seen something in almost every section, and almost every movie I watch for this project covers more than one star, so this should speed up as I go. If I really pushed I could probably finish by Christmas.

    I will not finish by Christmas.

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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (1979)

    Stylized image of Mary Woronov as Miss Togar. She is rendered in hot colors (reds, magentas, yellows). The background is a distorted image of The Ramones in two tones (black and blue).
    Some of the cast of Rock 'n' Roll High School, featuring Paul Bartel in a Ramones ringer t-shirt.

    Dumb fun, and almost no racist caricatures! PJ Soles plays a high school student. She was 30 when she made this, but she really manages to look like a teenager being played by a 35 year old.

    This poster is a little jankier than usual, but I think that fits the vibe of the movie.

    A fake poster for Rock 'n' Roll High School mimicking the poster for Superman.
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