I watched this because it was a pick on the Screen Drafts “Action Comedy” episode. It’s really fun- very much a live action martial arts version of a Warner Brothers cartoon. I was a little put off by a bit of homophobia, but other than that it was pretty darn good.
Today’s fake poster once again has almost nothing to do with the poster it’s copying, but they both feature someone smoking. That’s something, right?
A side note: I think I finally fixed the way these posts are showing up on Mastodon. We’ll all know when I hit the publish button!
Watched as prep for The Flop House. I try to do my homework!
This movie got hammered by critics like it was made of cancer and strangled kittens, and I don’t think it’s anywhere near that level of nightmare. It constantly almost works. There are details I love, like his “Walkman”: a COBY knockoff with big elementary school headphones (I see you, Califone 2924AVs). But Pine lets too many of his influences take over instead of using them as a lens for his own style. But it’s is first shot at directing; I would not be surprised at all if there are Chris Pine directing retrospectives in the future (where Poolman is called “critically misunderstood”).
Or he might become Neil Breen. Who knows?
Today’s poster: A movie called “Poolman” gets a pool movie poster.
There’s a lot of good stuff in this, but it gives Ponyboi too many problems to deal with. I’m sure the effect is supposed to be a constant heightening of tension, but it felt more like trying to cram every possible neo-noir cliché into a single story.
Bonus: Ponyboi (2019)
I didn’t realize until I got home that the movie is adapted from a short film River Gallo made in 2019. It’s on Vimeo. The short is less polished than the movie, but the story is more focused. Almost every line from the short is in the movie, but some are shuffled to new characters. The last scene is similar to the last one in the movie, but it’s much more connected to the rest of the story.
A movie about recovering from sexual assault that somehow manages to acknowledge the seriousness of the crime even while it inserts comedy. I liked it muchly.
Today’s fake poster is based on a very different baby movie.
But the question is: did I fix how the blog posts to the Fediverse? We’re about to find out!
Man, this movie is good. I saw a 4K remaster at The Egyptian, and it was frickin’ beautiful.
A few days ago I watched Tony Scott’s The Hunger. Yesterday I watched Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner. I guess I should complete the director trilogy by watching Michael Scott’s Threat Level: Midnight.
A few months ago I used Blade Runner’s poster as the model for the fake poster for A New Leaf, so it only seems fair to do the reverse for this movie.
Well, that movie wasn’t for me. It does exactly what it looks like it will do; if that’s your thing, you’ll probably enjoy it. I was mostly bored and occasionally uncomfortable.
Today’s fake poster kinda-sorta looks like the original. The reason it works at all is the movie logo.
The most unbelievable part of this movie: That Countess Zaleska (that’s Dracula’s daughter to you) would have any interest in the drip doctor. She had way more chemistry with the random woman her manservant picked out for her to drain. I guess that’s why a ton of sites reference this as “the lesbian vampire movie.”
Oh, how this fake poster made the middle school teacher that I am giggle!
If she’s a vampire, wouldn’t holding the cross burn?
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night
Easily the best vampire western set in modern day Iran but filmed near Bakersfield I have seen this year. And who could not love a vampire on a skateboard?
I was annoyed that I’d already done a Home Alone parody – it’s right there in the title! Instead, I went with another “walk” movie. This is less of a copy and more like a strongly influenced design. It also looks like it could have been a real poster for the movie, which is sort of against the idea of these fake posters. I do like it, though.
The Hunger
Look, I know she’s been entranced, but the whole seduction scene in this is hilarious. “Oh no- I have spilled my sherry on my thin white shirt that I am wearing without a bra. I’m trying to clean it by slowing rubbing a wet cloth on my breast, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Would you help me remove it, mysterious woman?”
…and now I present: THE WORST FAKE POSTER OF THE SET. It’s not a bad idea, but I should have looked for a better source image. However, I already made two other posters and I am done with Photoshop for the day.
Also: I realized that I’ve seen five “Lady Vampire” movies in the last ten months. I guess I should expect another one by August.
