Tag: totally completely real

  • Hey Lady!

    A loose stack of records. On top is The Annoying Jerry Lewis, with multiple pictures of Jerry Lewis making silly poses. Text near the top right of the cover reads: Nearly 23 minutes of random grunts and squeaks from the creator of "The Day The Clown Cried." Text near the bottom right reads: This album fulfills all contractually mandated recording requirements.
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  • Sick Burn

    A pile of books on a table. The top book's cover has a painting of decaying human bodies in tubes. The book is "I Hate This Tanning Salon" by Tex Flightrisk.
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  • Come on over- we’re burning eggs!

    A shelf of books. One book is in front of the others. It's titled Terrible Breakfast Recipes: What to make when you want everyone to say "No thanks, I'll grab something on the way to work." There is a picture of some greenish French Toast in a paper tray. The Author is Debbie Moltingbird, Author of They'll Think They Were Poisoned."

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  • Recent book finds

    A paperback book titled I Missed the Space Bus to My Space Office.
    A paperback book titled I Think It's the Robot from Spaceballs.

    They don’t make books like this any more.

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  • Movie Pass Adventures: Secret Mall Apartment and A Minecraft Movie.

    Secret Mall Apartment

    Two people in the secret mall apartment
    Two people sit on a couch in the Secret Mall Apartment

    Secret Mall Apartment starts out looking like it’s documenting an art prank, but it builds into discussions of gentrification, creativity, relationships, and why people make art. They definitely gloss over some rough patches; all the participants are still alive and get interviewed, but they never get any of them in the same space at the same time (or even on the phone), which makes it feel like there was some tension that split them apart. No surprise there- Some of them have the big energy you’d expect from a group of artistic folks, and big energies cause disruptions of relationships.

    I tried a few different ideas for fake posters, but finally gave in to the inevitable Blartiness.

    A poster for Secret Mall Apartment based on the poster for Paul Blart Mall Cop.

    A Minecraft Movie

    Partial images of four members of the cast of A Minecraft Movie.
    Jack Black as Steve in A Minecraft Movie.

    This was a “I don’t really care about this but my students want me to see it” movie. How bored was I? Well, I went in the late morning after a full night’s sleep, and still ended up dozing for a bit in the middle. I didn’t feel like I missed anything, even though they were talking about a character dying during my nap. I just thought “That guy’s not really dead; he’ll pop up at a crucial moment and save someone.” Maybe I would have been more amused if I played the game, but a movie that only works if you know the references is a movie that doesn’t work. My favorite scenes:Jennifer Coolidge’s romance b-plot.

    This poster is really just me slapping images on top of the original, but it works for me!

    A poster for A Minecraft Movie that's a lazy reworking of the poster for The Craft
    I should have given them feet. Oh, well.

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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Dick Tracy (1990)

    Glenne Headly and Warren Beatty in Dick Tracy
    Warren Beatty as Dick Tracy

    I saw two reviews for Dick Tracy in one day. One loved it, and one said “this movie and Batman & Robin should have to fight, and the loser disappears forever.”

    So I watched it.

    Visually, it’s a masterpiece. The rest of it is kind of a mess, but it looks like everyone’s having fun. And who would have thought that the weakest part of a Madonna performance would be her singing?

    Today’s parody poster is brought to you by K-Billy’s Super Sounds of the 70s.

    A poster for Dick Tracy parodying the poster for Reservoir Dogs.
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  • Movie (no) Pass Adventures: Freaky Tales

    Pedro Pascal in Freaky Tales

    This movie made me wish I’d grown up in Oakland.

    I actually happened to see it in Oakland at the Grand Lake Theatre, which was funny because I didn’t know the first scene actually takes place at that very theater.

    It’s a little rough around the edges, but in a good, semi-magic, sort-of Pulp Fiction way. This pictures I chose make it look like it’s mainly about Pedro Pascal’s character and Sleepy Floyd, but there are four interconnected stories, and most of them aren’t represented here.

    This isn’t a terrible idea for a poster, and it would work better with a little more focus, but I flew home two hours ago and I’m too tired to give it a proper polish.

    A poster for Freaky Tales roughly parodying the teaser poster for Freaky Friday. Really needs more work.
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  • Half-Retro Streaming Movie Adventures: The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) and Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

    These were both spur-of-the moment choices. One choice was better than the other.

    The Kentucky Fried Movie

    Wally & THe Beaver in Kentucky Fried Movie
    Evan C. Kim as Loo in The Kentucky Fried Movie

    I was looking through free stuff and this popped up. I thought “Hey, I remember that being funny- I’ll watch it!” It does not hold up. Most of the jokes are only funny if you don’t already know them, and there was so much cheeseball nudity that I kept hiding my screen in case my spouse woke up and thought I was watching seventies porn.

    It’s also very much made for people who watched movies and TV in the seventies. I’m guessing most people under thirty would have no idea that a huge chunk of the movie is a direct parody of Enter the Dragon.

    This is not a great parody poster, but it’s a better parody poster than this movie deserves.

    A poster for The Kentucky Fried Movie that parodies the poster for Lost in Translation.

    Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

    Three Spider-Men pointing at each other in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
    Spider-Man and Spider-Woman in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

    My students finished testing early, so we had an hour and a half to fill. I pulled up the first age-appropriate movie I thought might interest them that I could find.

    This movie is so damn good. I hope the final part eventually gets made, but it doesn’t feel very promising. It’s currently scheduled to come out on my birthday… two years from now.

    This parody poster isn’t terrible, but this movie deserves a better one.

    A poster for Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse parodying the poster for Kiss of the Spider Woman
    But that costume sure looks cool in shades of blue!
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Chan is Missing (1982)

    Marc Hayashi as Steve in Chan is Missing.
    Marc Hayashi as Steve and Wood Moy as Jo in Chan is Missing.

    Sometimes when I’m watching ultra-low budget movies like this it’s hard to see past the amateur acting and appreciate what the filmmakers managed to capture with pretty much nothing. The acting in this can be pretty rough, but it really captures the feel of San Francisco’s Chinatown.

    It took a while to come p with something for this parody poster. I ended up going with a lost and found link.

    A poster for Chan is Missing that sort-of references the poster for Finding Nemo.
    …and yes, Wayne Wang really did direct Maid in Manhattan.
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  • Not-Quite-Retro Streaming Movie Adventures: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013)

    Ben Stiller as Walter Mitty in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.
    Ben Stiller as Walter Mitty in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. He is glowing in bright colors. The background is an office in black and white.

    Two not-creepy, uplifting movies in a row? It’s a movie miracle! Now I need to find a bar that only serves beer in glass boots.

    I had a good idea for the parody poster, but I didn’t give myself enough time to get the lettering right. This might be the first poster to get a remastered edition.

    A poster for The Secret Life of Walter Mitty parodying the poster for Anatomy of a Murder.
    I can do Saul Bass Lettering if I take my time, honest. Look: Proof!
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