Tag: walk of fame

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Lone Wolf Meets a Lady and Jean Muir

    Stylized image of the cast of The Lone Wolf Meets a Lady.
    The cast of The Lone Wolf Meets a Lady.

    This was one of two dozen movies in the Lone Wolf series. They cranked them out pretty quickly. This is the second of three released in 1940. It’s a low budget, shot on the lot, light bit of escapism, the kind where a woman’s supposedly dead husband reappears and gets shot in front of her, and she’s completely fine five minutes later. Goes down easy.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Jean Muir's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Jean Muir.

    Jean Muir, the titular Lady, was known for being a troublemaker because she would do things like ask questions, or not dress up in public, or (worst of all) “support unions.” She was blacklisted in 1950 for supposed communist activity (though she was never a communist) and couldn’t get acting work for eight years.

    The problem with today’s fake poster is that the original is deceptively simple, which means anything off really sticks out.

    A fake poster for The Lone Wolf Meets a Lady mimicking the poster for Beauty and the Beast.
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  • Walk of Fame Adventures: Wuthering Heights and Merle Oberon

    Merle Oberon and Laurence Olivier in Wuthering Heights.
    Laurence Olivier and Merle Oberon in Wuthering Heights.

    This movie is often called things like “A dark supernatural romance.” It could also be called “pretty much everyone is a jerk.” Almost every single person in this movie is horrible to someone else, including (and especially) the two main characters.

    “My love for you is huge and undeniable, but you’re not rich so I’m gonna marry this other guy.”

    “Well, my love is huger and undeniabler, but you’re marrying some else so I’m going to marry your sister in law purely out of spite.”

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Merle Oberon's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Merle Oberon.

    I learned today that Merle Oberon was half Asian, but hid it until her death. The chemicals she used to lighten her skin were so rough on her face that someone invented a special light to hide all the scarring. If she had been open about her heritage she almost certainly would not have been nominated for Best Actress; the next Asian to get that nod was Michelle Yeoh, 85 years later.

    Merle Oberon’s star is at 6274 Hollywood Boulevard.

    It was hard to find a connection to another movie; there are very few movie titles that include the word “wuthering.” I ended up finding another movie with a mythical castle instead.

    A fake poster for Wuthering Heights mimicking the poster for Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.
    I do not want to admit how much effort I put into that dumb logo.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass and Walk of Fame Adventures: Splitsville and Love Me Forever (1935), and a bit more

    Stylized image of Michael Angelo Covino and Dakota Johnson in Splitsville

    Splitsville

    The cast of Splitsville

    This was fun, but once again I must ask: writer/directors, please stop casting yourselves as leads.

    This fake poster was motivated by nothing but the fact that I liked the font on the original but couldn’t find anything that resembled it. So I made my own. It’s only letters right now, and the spacing is a little weird, but it works!

    A fake poster for Splitsville mimicking the poster for Black Belt Jones.
    Seriously, that font rips.

    Love Me Forever

    The cast of Love Me Forever.
    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Grace Moore's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Grace Moore.

    I watched this because it was the only Grace Moore movie I could find. She was an opera singer turned actress, so naturally she plays a woman who just happens to be really good at singing opera. She’s fine, but Leo Carrillo (who I honestly only knew from the beach named after him) is way more fun to watch.

    This poster continues my current “one good one, one bad one” pattern. This was a good idea, but the execution is weak.

    A fake poster for Love Me Forever mimicking the poster for A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night.

    Bonus Walk of Fame Thing!

    One of the walk of fame stars is for Frank Fay. He is credited as the creator of modern standup comedy and the entertainment job of emcee. He was also a racist, fascist, antisemitic, egotistical ass, so I went out of my way to watch enough of him to say “I saw him on film” without having to sit through a real performance. I found a twenty minute promotional film with tons of stars called The Stolen Jools. Fay is in it for about ten seconds, and that’s plenty for me. And no star for him, either.

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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Prison Break (1938) and Constance Moore

    Red Kincaid (Ward Bond) and Joaquin Shannon (Barton MacLane) squaring off to fight in prison while prisoners watch and guards hold them back.
    Edmund MacDonald as Chris and Constance Moore as Maria in Prison Break

    This movie was a curse.

    I looked this up on Letterboxd, saw that it had a 3.7 rating out of five, and decided it was worth watching. About halfway in I was so bored that I looked it up again, and learned that its number are probably artificially inflated by sharing the name of a popular TV series. I WUZ HOODWINKED, I TELL YA!

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Constance Moore's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Constance Moore.

    I chose this movie because I was looking for something with Constance Moore I could watch for free. She had pretty high billing, but she only has a couple of scenes at the beginning of the movie, and in the middle we find out that she was killed off-screen. I almost expected a scribbled card reading “POOCHIE DIED ON HIS WAY HOME” to pop up.

    …and to finish off this turd fest: I couldn’t figure out a decent parody poster, and there were pretty much no decent pictures from the movie. And that’s why today’s poster is a halfass reference to the poster for “Ernest Goes to Jail.” The only thing that’s close to the original poster is the lettering.

    A fake poster for Prison Break that just barely references the poster for Ernest Goes to Jail.

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Visitor (1979) and Mel Ferrer

    John Huston in The Visitor
    Paige Collins in The Visitor.

    I knew I was in for a high quality piece of cinema when it opened with this title card:

    The opening card from The Vistor. It reads: "The Producer wishes to gratefully aknowledge Mr. GEORGE BUSBEE Governor of the State of Georgia and Mr. MAYNARD JACKSON Mayor of the city of Atlanta for their helpfull assistance without which this film could never have been made."
    “Spelling? Capitalization? Grammar? Punctuation? Those rules are for cowards.”

    This is the best movie with an old man in a fishing hat fighting to stop an eight year old girl from forcing her mother (with the help of a secret evil organization and the owner of a basketball team) to give birth to the reincarnation of Space Satan I’ve ever seen. At that doesn’t even mention the ice skating fight, or the commune full of bald children led by Space Jesus in what looks like a very nice suburban home in space.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Mel Ferrer's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Mel Ferrer.

    Mel Ferrer (Walk of Fame star at 6268 Hollywood Boulevard) plays the head of the evil secret organization. He gets killed by birds. I’m not sure if he’s covered in blood or bird crap.

    Mel Ferrer covered with wounds (or possibly bird poop) in The Visitor.

    Today’s fake poster… isn’t very good. It looks less like a movie poster, and more like a repackaged DVD in the five dollar bin at Walmart.

    A fake poster for The Visitor poorly mimicking the poster for The Avengers
    They can’t all be gems.

    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: 42nd Street and Una Merkel

    Julian Baxter (Warner Masher) sits in profile on a chair in silhouette. Behind him on stage the cast of Pretty Lady (the musical in 42nd Street) is practicing.
    The chorus girls from 42nd Street.

    Some things that never happen in real life that happen for extra drama in this movie:

    • The director is backstage on opening night, still directing
    • The main backer threatens to pull out of the show the night before opening, when things are already paid for
    • There is no understudy for the lead role

    The most amazing thing about this movie: it doesn’t end when the chorus girl finishes her triumphant performance. In the last scene (and yes, I’m about to spoil the ending of a 92 year old movie) the director, who has worked himself nearly to death to complete the play and secure his future, stands outside the theater. Weak and unrecognized, people pass him saying that he deserves no credit and that the chorus girl is the reason the show works. And then the credits roll! Way darker than I ‘d expect, but maybe Depression era audiences were primed for that little gut punch.

    And why does this movie hate Philadelphia?

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Una Merkel's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Una Merkel.

    I’m not sure exactly where Una Merle’s star is. The Walk of Fame directory says 6262 Hollywood Boulevard, but Wikipedia claims 6230. I guess I’ll have to go look.

    It looks like the poster I copied for this was a linocut, and I wasn’t up for spending a day or two replicating the effect accurately, so I faked it. Close enough if you don’t look too hard.

    A fake poster for 42nd Street mimicking the poster for Streets of Fire.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Topper (1937) and Constance Bennett

    Cary Grant, Roland Young and Constance Bennett in Topper.
    Roland Young and Constance Bennett in Topper.

    If you ever have to become a ghost, it seems like the ones in Topper are the most pleasant. You’re basically the Invisible Woman from the Fantastic Four, without the force fields but with bonus intangibility powers.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Constance Bennett's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Constance Bennett.

    Constance Bennett spends most of the movie hitting on Roland Young (who, despite what the billing says, is the real star of this movie).

    Today’s fake poster is completely based on slant rhyme.

    A fake poster for Topper mimicking the poster for Looper.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Sons of the Desert and William Seiter

    Oliver Hardy & Stan Laurel in Sons of the Desert.
    Oliver Hardy & Stan Laurel in Sons of the Desert.

    I’ve never watched Laurel & hardy, but based on this movie, this seems to be the formula for most of their comedy:

    • Ollie acts like a blowhard.
    • Stan does an absurd and funny thing.
    • Ollie slowly and exactly describes the thing Stan just did.
    • Ollie mugs to the camera.
    • Repeat.

    Can you tell which one I thought was funnier?

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of William Seiter's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of William Seiter.

    William Seiter’s Wikipedia entry says “Seiter earned a reputation for his charming comedies that were moderately paced and kept the laughs coming quietly, rather than resorting to obvious jokes and slapstick.” He must have abandoned that for this movie.

    …and now it’s time for another “you’ll only know the reference if you’re a movie poster fanatic” fake poster!

    A fake poster for Sons of the Desert mimicking the poster for Dog Day Afternoon.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: How to Marry a Millionaire and Jean Negulesco

    Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, and Betty Grable in How to Marry a Millionaire.
    The cast of How to Marry a Millionaire sitting at a diner counter, singing.

    Marilyn Monroe with glasses is so much hotter than Marilyn Monroe without them. However, I did appreciate that her vanity about being seen wearing them explained that a lot of her ditziness and clumsiness was actually symptoms of blindness.

    This was one of the first CinemaScope pictures, and you can tell by the opening scene: a five minute performance by a full orchestra that has nothing to do with the story. They obviously thought “Hey, we’ve got a really wide screen- what’s a really wide thing with impressive sound we can film?”

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Jean Negulesco's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Jean Negulesco.

    How to Marry a Millionaire was directed by Jean Negulesco. He received his star at 6212 Hollywood Boulevard on February 8, 1960. He was one year older than I am now, so I’m hoping I get my star next year.

    Today’s fake poster is based on a slightly different movie about relationships.

    A fake poster for How to Marry a Millionaire mimicking the poster for Dangerous Liaisons.

    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Adventures: Gordon Hollingshead

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Gordon Hollingshead's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Gordon Hollingshead.

    Gordon Hollingshead was mainly a producer of short films, so many that he was nominated twenty times for Best Short Subject Academy Awards (and won about a half dozen).

    I’ve been using Justwatch to find this to see for this project, and the only Hollingshead thing it listed as available on any streaming service I have was “Why We Fight: Divide and Conquer,” one of Frank Capra’s WWII propaganda films. Pretty straightforward stuff.

    No poster for this (it’s a short, not a full film) but I did make this loop:

    An animated image of a radio tower broadcasting the word "LIES" over and over.
    Seems like it could be useful.

    Of course, after I watched this I looked on youtube and found a ton of shorts he worked on, including this cool one about jazz:

    Hollingshead’s star is at 6200 Hollywood Boulevard, which means that in the month I’ve been doing this I’ve gone TWO WHOLE BLOCKS! Eleven more unseen movies (and way more already-seen ones) until I get to Hollywood & Vine!

    A map of Hollywood. The street sections with the Hollywood Walk of Fame (Hollywood Blvd. from La Brea to Gower, Vine St. From Franklin to Sunset) is highlighted, most of the highlight is yellow, but the South side of Hollywood from Gower to Argyle is red.
    Swifter than eagles!
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