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Photoshop

I hope he got the help he deserved.

Benito Caprese needs your help!

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Photoshop

Patsy!

You haven’t lived until you’ve heard her sing “Rock Lobster.”

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Criterion Collection Photoshop

Heir to Kubrick

The cover of the Criterion Collection release of The Oogieloves in the Bog Balloon Adventure.

…but Chaz Palminteri’s Milky Marvin feels more like a David Lynch creation.

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Criterion Collection Photoshop

A Horror Classic

Another grand slam home run from the master of suspense.

Here, have a related story.

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Whatever

So, here’s a weird thing…

I was trying to remember how I did a fake sketch effect in Photoshop, and I remembered that somewhere along the way I had written up a tutorial and put it on this site. So I did what any disorganized person would do: searched for “fake sketch ga2so” on Google. I found the link, but I also found a link to a reddit post that led to an essay on YouTube about David Manning.

You probably have a couple of questions, like “Who is David Manning?” and “What does that have to do with you?”

Well, about twenty years ago, Sony made up a fake reviewer named David Manning and used his quotes in their ad campaigns. I thought it was hilarious, so I fired up Paint Shop Pro and a bootleg copy of Dreamweaver and made David Manning- The Last Honst Critic. Then last year Brickwall Pictures decided to do a video detailing the history of David Manning. He ended up spending almost a third of the video trying to figure out why someone would go through all the trouble of making the site.

I’ll tell you why: I was a goofball with a very slightly popular personal web site at a time when people who wanted to share a goofy idea on the internet couldn’t just post it on a giant social network, and I thought it was funny. I have a vague memory of trying to get the buttons on the site to resemble Apple’s house look of the time taking more time than writing all of the terrible copy on the page.

what's this button all about, then?
Didn’t quite get it.

So I posted a comment on the video explaining who I was, why I made the page, and what I was doing now. I even mentioned that my recent Criterion Collection boxes were sort of a spiritual successor to David Manning. I also thanked him for making me feel like it was worth it to leave a dumb joke up for 20 years. I thought I’d either get some sort of “that explains it” response, or (more likely) no response at all. What I didn’t expect was that he’d delete not just my comment, but any comment anyone made referring to my page. Really odd. Maybe he’s planning a secret followup video and doesn’t want to give away the ending. Maybe he visited my Youtube channel and decided he didn’t like my goofy bike videos. Whatever. It’s his channel. He can do what he likes with it.

Me, I’m going to go watch David Manning’s “Best Film of 2022”: Morbius.

And I’ll be drinking Jared Leto’s Hard Kombucha the whole time.

UPDATE: He wasn’t deleting comments. It was Youtube’s spam filter going a little hard.

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Criterion Collection Photoshop

True Genius

Box art for the Criterion Collection release of Baby Geniuses.

Fun fact: I started to look for the movie so I could pull something out of it for the cover, but then I realized that no one would know who or what was actually in the movie.
I believe the children are our future.

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Criterion Collection Photoshop

Haunting. Heartbreaking.

The cover of the Criterion Collection release of Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.
In France the title was Le Petit Vilain Qui Souille Son Corps Pour de L’argent.

One of the most haunting films of the last twenty-five years. Subtle, graceful, heartbreaking performances. All who see it are changed. If this movie doesn’t reduce you to tears, are you even a human being?

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Criterion Collection Photoshop

Barry Bostwick’s Greatest Role

The cover for the Criterion Collect release of Megaforce.

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Criterion Collection movies Photoshop

Missed the best one!

I can’t believe I posted those Criterion Collection films yesterday and missed the one that’s the surefire winner of everything. Forgive me.

The cover of the Criterion Collection release of Marmaduke.
Pete Davidson better be working on his Best Actor acceptance speech!

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Criterion Collection movies Photoshop

Oscars are coming!

There are only a couple of months until the 95th Academy Awards. While I have already seen every single film that came out in 2022, I try to rewatch likely Best Picture nominees at least six times before the broadcast so I can really lock down my picks. While I usually have to settle for streaming, a few of the sure-fire nominees have been released as fully remastered Criterion Collection discs. These are the miracles of 2022 that I now own. Highly recommended.

The box art for The Criterion Collection release of Moonfall.
The box art for The Criterion Collection release of Pinocchio: The True Story.
The box art for The Criterion Collection release of Morbius.