Author: Ga2so

  • Walk of Fame Adventures: The Death Kiss and Adrienne Ames

    Adrienne Ames and Bela Lugosi in The Death Kiss.
    David Manners, Adrienne Ames, and Bela Lugosi in The Death Kiss.

    The hero of this movie is a screenwriter who’s a better detective than the cops, contaminates evidence without consequence, solves the crime, and gets the girl. These days he’d be called a Mary Sue (or maybe a Gary Stu).

    It’s not a great movie, but it’s fun to see three of the leads from Dracula in wildly different roles.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Adrienne Ames's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Adrienne Ames.

    Adrienne Ames (1612 Vine Street) plays the main suspect, an actress who was recently divorced from the murder victim. In real life she had already been divorced twice, even though she was only in her early twenties. Her first marriage happened when she was 13 or 14. Gross.

    Today’s fake poster isn’t very complex, but it did amuse me.

    A fake poster for The Death Kiss mimicking the poster for Deep Throat.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Streaming Movie Adventures: The Punk Singer

    Kathleen Hanna in The Punk Singer.
    Kathleen Hanna in The Punk Singer.

    This gets a little fawning, but how could it not? It’s about Kathleen Hanna, a prime architect of everything cool in the 90s. My biggest complaint: They never revealed if Le Tigre was named after the knockoff Izod shirt that J. C. Penney used to sell.

    Today’s fake poster was almost based on The Wedding Singer, but I liked this one more.

    A fake poster for The Punk Singer mimicking the poster for the Neil Diamond version of The Jazz Singer.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Carmen and Geraldine Farrar

    Geraldine Farrar and Wallace Reid in Carmen
    Geraldine Farrar in a fight in Carmen

    There’s something funny about making a silent movie based on an opera…

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Geraldine Farrar's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Geraldine Farrar.

    …and it’s funnier when you cast an opera singer as the lead. That’s a little unfair: Geraldine Farrar (1620 Vine Street) was popular enough to have her own version of Swifties.

    Today’s poster is based on a different staged music production that was made into a movie.

    A fake poster for Carmen mimicking the poster for Cabaret.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: Frankenstein

    Oscar Isaac in Frankenstein.
    Jacob Elordi in Frankenstein.

    It’s not subtle. At one point a character has a line that might as well have started with “And now I shall state the moral of the film.” Also: I learned that adding enough electricity to properly connected parts of dead bodies can create Wolverine powers.

    Also: At one point Dr. Frankenstein mentions that The Creature will need to be huge to make the work easier, and I half expected Teri Garr to pop in and say “He would have an enormous schwanzstucker!”

    As seen in a superior Frankenstein adaptation.

    This is my 200th fake poster!

    A fake poster for Frankenstein mimicking the poster for It's a Wonderful Life.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Retro Movie Pass Adventures: Back to the Future

    Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future
    Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future.

    Still holds up.

    The science makes no sense, but this movie’s really a fantasy story so that’s okay. Still weird that Marty’s mom has a little chuckle over the guy waxing her car being the guy who sexually assaulted her in high school, though.

    I used the Back to the Future poster for a movie earlier this year, so it seems right to go the other way for this fake poster:

    A poster for Back to the Future mimicking the poster for Bring Her Back.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: Dracula

    Adonis Tanta in Dracula
    Gabriel Spahiu in Dracula

    This is the worst movie I’ve seen all year (sorry, Star Trek: Section 31. You don’t even get to be at the top of the worst list any more).

    Some people love this movie. They call it anti-art or meta-cinema, and I can see someone having that take, but when does something move from absurdist meta-commentary to stale and unwatchable?

    I figured out what this feels like. Sometimes musicians start out with zero money and make great music with bad equipment and no budget because they’re driven and talented. Then they start making money, their technical skills and instruments get better, the music gets more polished and generic, and they get accused of “selling out.” So they decide to go back to basics, get out their old crappy instruments, and make an album “like they used to do it.” And it sounds fake, because they know too much and can’t do it the way they used to do it.

    Are there good performances? Sure. Whole scenes, even some whole stories work. But most of it was three hours (THREE HOURS) of barely watchable stories full of (intentionally bad) AI generated graphics and (fake) AI written stories.

    I’ve hear that “bad” art makes you think more than “good” art. If that’s true, congratulations Dracula: you made me think a lot.

    A fake poster for Dracula mimicking the poster for Eraserhead.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Botober drawing dump: Days 24-31

    I really struggled to stay motivated to finish this project, so the drawings are even worse than usual, but they are DONE. There’s at least one idea in here that I thought was funny.

    I’m glad I did this, but I think I’ll skip it next year.

    Botober drawing, Day 24: Leanwhile Batman leans against nothing. Text reads "LEANWHILE, at the Hall of Justice... Whay am I able to lean against a wall that doesn't exist? BECAUSE I'M BATMAN."
    Botober drawing, Day 25: six slices soup A man dressed like someone from the TV show The Prisoner is slicing soup on a table. He is saying "I am not a chef. I am a free man. Also, the trick is to freeze the soup before you cut it."
    Botober drawing, Day 26: pepper towels A bell pepper with arms in a bathroom toweling itself. Test reads "...and I thought yesterday's drawing was dumb."
    Botober drawing, Day 26: 1 cup sliced dish A man at a table with a dish split in half and a cup in front of him. The man is saying "I sliced it all by myself with my giant misshapen hand that was drawn that way on purpose and not because SOMEONE can't draw hands." The cup is saying "LIAR! THE SLICING WAS MINE! But the hands thing is totally true"
    Botober drawing, Day 28: 1 teaspoon flup A drawing of Flappy Bird with its tail extended so it looks like a spoon. Text underneath says "Fluppy Birdspoon"
    Botober drawing, Day 29: small calling cheese two hands, one hold a card, the other holding a tiny piece of cheese. Text above reads: "My calling card." "My calling cheese." "Seems a bit small."
    Botober drawing, Day 30: Add blender. Shell The blender logo with part of the outside "shell" removed. Text at the bottom says "I'm so tired."
    Botober drawing, Day 31: Orenge gelatin hourse An orange drawing of a horse's head. Large text surrounding the head says BOTOBER DAY 31 ORENGE GELATIN HOURSE. Smaller text in the bottom right corner says DONE.

    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Adventures: I Married a Witch and Fredric March

    Veronica Lake and Fredric March in I Married a Witch.
    Veronica Lake in I Married a Witch.

    When the witch is Veronica Lake, of course you marry her.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Fredric March's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the right, a black and white portrait photo of Fredric March.

    Here’s some bad luck that messed with the legacy of Fredric March (1620 Vine Street): He was once part of a group at school called the Ku Klux Klan- but it was a student honor society, completely unrelated to the infamous Klan, that was founded before the Klan had a significant presence. The student group changed their name when the bad Klan gained notoriety, but when the original name was discovered people thought March had been racist. In fact, March worked with the NAACP and other civil rights organizations for a half century.

    Witches? Significant trees? Maryland? Today’s fake poster was practically begging to be made.

    A fake poster for I Married a Witch mimicking the poster for The Blair Witch Project.

    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: Bugonia

    Emma Stone with a shaved head in Bugonia.
    The eyes of Jesse Plemons in Bugonia.

    Not as Yorgos as you might expect, until it becomes exactly as much Yorgos as you’d expect.

    Here’s your fake poster:

    A fake poster for Bugonia mimicking the poster for The Apartment.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: If I had Legs I’d Kick You

    Rose Byrne in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You.
    A$AP Rocky in If I Had Legs I'd Kick You.

    A movie that made me so glad I never had a kid. Two hours of unrelenting stress (complimentary).

    Today’s base poster was chosen purely for similar title length.

    A fake poster for If I Had Legs I'd Kick You mimicking the poster for The Man Who Knew Too Much.
    I like the way this makes it look like the movie is a romantic comedy.
    Fediverse reactions
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