I’m not sure why the Mission: Impossible movies don’t do much for me. Yeah, they’re preposterous and predictable, but so is pretty much every superhero movie and I generally like those. I don’t know if it’s the direction or the stars, but they just feel soulless.
For today’s fake poster I went with the opposite of Impossible: Easy.
I went into this movie knowing almost nothing about it, and I’m glad I did. Afterward I remembered seeing a promotional picture and thinking it wasn’t for me, and I’m glad I forgot about that as well. It had a lot of clever and unexpected turns. Plus, I learned you can make food that pleases men by cutting it into big dumb chunks!
Rejected ideas for today’s poster included Sister Act, Midnight Run and Midnight Express. I ended up going with an antonym. If someone was paying me to make these I would have spent more time getting the colors right, but at least I matched the fonts!
Great- now I’ve got a crush on 1941 Martha Raye. Thanks, Hellzapoppin.
I love that they realized the stage show of Hellzapoppin would never work as a movie, so they didn’t even bother to try and make a direct translation of the show. It’s 84 minutes packed with topical (at the time) jokes, music, and special effects strung together by a plot that Olsen & Johnson are actively mocking.
Hellzapoppin isn’t streaming anywhere, but there’s a really good restoration on YouTube.
Today’s fake poster was inspired by the “poppin” part of “Hellzapoppin,” and features a secret link to They Might Be Giants.
I think this Spielberg guy is a pretty good director.
Today’s fake poster is based on Spielberg’s second-greatest film.
I had never watched this, even though I’d heard tons of great reviews for it. But this was the last week of school and I needed something to entertain my students while I cleaned and finished grading, so I put this on. Even with sort-of knowing most of the story, it’s still pretty great.
This fake poster is based on the real poster for the other movie I watched today.
After work I had a little time to kill (ha!) before going to a retirement party, and Final Destination Bloodlines fit the extra time nicely. I’ve never watched any of this series, but I knew the basic concept. Does this movie make any sense? No. Did I laugh a lot? Oh, yeah. It does the same “violence so extreme and silly that it becomes a live action cartoon” thing as The Monkey.
My first plan was to copy The Lego Movie’s poster for this movie’s fake poster, but that thing is really complex, so I did a quick Lego effect on the featured image instead. You probably won’t have any trouble figuring out the actual source poster.
Why wasn’t Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs ten times as active as an actor? I wouldn’t have minded if we got less Boom Boom Washington if it meant more big movie roles.
It was good to see a pre-SNL Garrett Morris in a more serious role. Another guy who should have had a much larger career.
Oh, and Robert Townsend is in this (uncredited) for about ten seconds!
My first thought for today’s fake poster was a riff on Vanilla Ice’s “Cool As Ice,” but copying the title design would have meant writing it like this:
COOL
EY
HIGH
and that looked dumb. Then I thought about using a different high school movie like Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but that seemed too similar. So I went with a movie that takes place in the same city, but in a different decade.
If you’re looking for a movie where your date curls up against you to try and hide from the film, skip horror movies and see this! Then enjoy 100 minutes of cringing.
Holy cow, this was painful to watch but irresistible- and much better than the last Paul Rudd A24 movie I saw.
Today’s poster was easy to the point of plagiarism (“let’s copy the look of one poster with images from the real one”) but too perfect to deny.
When I watched the original Accountant movie earlier this week I wasn’t surprised that Affleck’s character has Hollywood Magic Autism that makes him a super genius who sometimes does unexpected things. The sequel beats that by giving him a squad of kids who also have super-autism that they can use to control any device connected to the internet to help Affleck’s character solve a mystery- or murder people, if that’s the job.
It’s not very good.
Today’s poster would work better if I had better Ralph Steadman-style custom Photoshop brushes.
It turns out Marvel can still make fun movies with Captain America characters (as long as they aren’t actually Captain America). Let’s see if they can get two in a row with Fantastic Four.
Today’s poster was an excuse to try out a Photoshop trick I saw in a Youtube tutorial.
“Hey, y’know how Matt Damon’s first big role was as a math genius, and then he did a bunch of action spy movies? What if we had a movie where the lead guy was both, and also a secret philanthropist?”
“How would we make that believable?”
“Easy- let’s make him autistic!”
“Does autism give people super math/killing/philanthropy powers?”
“No idea!”
“Good enough for me!”
“Should we also include a nonsense plot?”
“I think that’s practically a requirement.”
“If people like it, we can do a sequel in ten years.”
“But after all that time people will forget the first movie!”
“You’re right. Let’s do it in nine.”
Today’s poster is so, so, so dumb. But so is the movie, so that works out.
