Author: Ga2so

  • Movie Pass Adventures: The Seed of the Sacred Fig

    Movie bar for The Seed of the Sacred Fig, featuring the faces of Rezvan and Sana.

    I’m about to make some silly nit-picky complaints, but this is a good movie with strong performances from everyone in the family, and it’s worth investing two and three quarter hours to watch. Soheila Golestani is particularly strong as a woman trying to do the right thing while protecting her family.

    That being said, here comes the nitpicking! There’s a bit of mild spoiling below:

    If Anton Chekhov watched the first scene he’d jump up and yell “Hey! I know at least one thing that’s going to happen at the end!”

    The ages of the actors playing the kids are a little hinky. There’s a moment where the mother says one of the daughters is going through puberty, and I thought “wait- how old is she supposed to be/” I looked up the actress afterward, and she’s 32. She doesn’t look ancient, but she sure doesn’t look like a kid. Then again, this movie was shot in secret and everyone had to flee the country after it was done to avoid getting arrested, so I guess they were lucky to find good actress of any age willing to live in exile to tell this story.

    Also: is it bad that a chase scene in this very serious movie reminded me of Scooby Doo?

    You know what this movie needs? A silly poster!

    If you can figure out the poster I’m copying, you can probably figure out why I picked it. Or you could save some effort and just read the alt text.

    A poster for The Seed of the Sacred Fig imitating the poster of the 1978 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
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  • Not-Quite-Retro Movie Pass Adventures: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)

    Conner 4 Real's upper torso, wearing a green and white letterman's jacket with a white C on the left breast.

    After watching Barb & Star yesterday, this feels like a trip to the frat house. It’s somehow dirtier, but with less sex. Funny, but much more caustic.

    I saw this at an Alamo Drafthouse “Sing Along Party.” It was… odd. I think they had someone watching and turning on closed captioning whenever they thought a song would start. Sometimes the lyrics wouldn’t show, but the dialogue would. Maybe it was supposed to be a Joke Along Party as well.

    I will not tell you how long I spent trying to make the letters on this poster look right. I thought I’d save time so I made a custom brush and did it in Illustrator. I probably could have neatly written it on paper and scanned it in half the time. And it’s still not quite right- but close!

    You may find yourself doing the donkey roll.

  • Not-quite-retro Movie Adventures: Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar (2021)

    Jamie Dornan as Edgar in Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar

    This movie came out in the middle of COVID. I started to watch it at home, got about five minutes in, and turned it off. It wasn’t for me.

    Then Alonso Duralde from Maximum Film was excited that there was going to be a screening in an actual theater, so I decided to give it another shot.

    I discovered the movie isn’t for me if I sit alone and watch it on my computer, but is much more for me in a crowd of BASGTVDM superfans. It’s wild and silly and a bunch of fun. I’m glad I found the right crowd to watch it with. Thanks, Alonso!

    And as a bonus, a pretty damn good fake poster:

    A poster for Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar that's an homage to Barbarella.
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  • High Quality Promo Time

    I teach digital media at a middle school, and my students make a not-quite-weekly show. I made this promo for our school’s video bulletin. Kids love Ed Wynn, right?

  • Movie Pass Adventures: I’m Still Here

    Still of a family photo from I'm Still Here

    Man, that was good. One of those films where you forget you’re watching someone speaking a language you don’t know. Also, 1970s Brazilian pop music ROCKS.

    If you own a movie theater, this movie gives you the opportunity to play a really mean prank. Tell people you’re showing “I’m Still Here,” and when they come expecting to see an Oscar-nominated film, show them the terrible Joaquin Phoenix documentary. Then again, the director of that is a creep, so maybe not.

    I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about this movie’s lazy parody poster…

    A picture of Fernanda Torres starting just above her knees, wearing a dark blue sleeveless blouse and a tan skirt. She is on the right side of a white background. on the left are the words "i'm still here" stacked haphazardly on each other.

  • Retro Movie Adventures: Superman (1978)

    Christopher Reeve's chest as Superman's chest.

    2025 has had kind of a rough start. One of the things that’s made it harder than usual was Los Angeles’ attempt to burn itself to the ground. This showing of Superman at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood was a fundraiser for a bunch of charities who are helping people impacted by the fire.

    It was the right choice for a stressed city. Did I tear up a couple of times, including once right at the very beginning when the music swelled as Superman’s symbol appeared onscreen? I’ll never tell.

    It’s not a perfect movie by any means- I could live without ever hearing Margot Kidder recite “Can You Read My Mind?” again- but it was a pleasure to watch a Superman who is unquestionably a force for good. I’ve always liked a Superman who’s greatest power is to do the right thing, even when the right thing is impossible. I hope Gunn’s version in July keeps that unwavering goodness in place.

    Now, about this poster…

    Yesterday, I blamed the poor poster on the poor movie. Today, I have no excuse.

    A poster for Superman (1978) that homages the poster for Demolition Man, but not very well.
    Here’s hoping I remember how to make these decent soon.

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  • Streaming Movie Adventures: Star Trek: Section 31

    Young Philippa Georgiou in Star Trek: Section 31.

    There’s a thing going on in DC comics right now called the Absolute line. There’s an Absolute Superman, an Absolute Batman, and an Absolute Superman. The idea behind them is simple: How much can you take away and still have the story be true it the character? So far, it’s worked surprisingly well, giving new looks at the heroes without abandoning there core concepts.

    This feels like someone had a similar idea for Star Trek, but in this case it absolutely does not work. Sure, it has some of the same aliens and characters, but it feels like someone went to a costume shop and said “hey, gimme some stuff from that Doctor Spock show.”

    This was originally supposed to be a series. I see why they decided against it.

    Also:I always fight to make decent parody images for bad movies. They take way too long, I never find source images I want to use (because they don’t exist), it’s hard to come up with a parody concept, and they never look as good as I’d like. Seriously, you have no idea how much work I put into this thing that doesn’t work.

    A poster for Star Trek: Section 31 that doesn't quite match the look of the poster for A Star is Born.
    …and now I’ve wasted the poster for A Star is Born on this terrible movie.
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  • Streaming Movie Adventures: Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl

    Gromit, Norbot, and Wallace. THey are in the garden. Gromit looks concered, Norbot looks happy, and Wallace looks proud and pleased.

    This is cracking good fun- it’s Wallace & Gromit, how could it not be? Wallace still has his delicate balance of brilliance and boneheadedness, and Gromit continues to be a combination of Jeeves and James Bond.

    This is up for Best Animated Picture. It’s not my favorite of the bunch, but it’s still a lot of fun.

    I wanted to do a “Revenge of the Sith” parody for this poster, but I already made a Star War. I think this is actually better.

    A poster for Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl inspired by Wall-E. Wallace & Gromit are tied up in the foreground. In the background, a faint image of Feather McGraw flots in the tars above them. Text reads "After 35 years of inventing what he wanted, he'll discover what his best pal really wants." The bottom of the image shows the title of the movie in the style of the title design for Wall-E.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

    The face of Invasion of the Bee Girls' Dr. Susan Harris, looking either sultry or slightly sleepy.

    When I was a kid in the 1970s, KCOP (channel 13) showed this movie. Watching it now, I can’t figure out how they did it. The movie is 75 minutes long, and half the scenes, including the climax of the movie, feature prominent nudity and/or sex. It must have been thirty minutes long.

    Also: no, this isn’t a secret classic movie. It’s a silly “hey look at these boobs” film that I watched with a bunch of other folks just to make fun of it. Don’t seek it out.

    …but hey, I got a good poster out of it!

    A poster for Invasion of the Bee Girls in the style of the poster for Bee Movie. Text at the top reads "THESE HONEYS ARE HAVING A BALL." Text in the center says "INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS" in a style similar to the title of Bee Movie. At the bottom is a picture of Dr. Susan Harris with large seventies hair and sunglasses. In the background is a large letter B in shades of yellow, gold, and orange.
    …you like jazz?
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  • Movie Pass Adventures: Grand Theft Hamlet

    A shot from Grand Theft Hamlet composed in Grand Theft Auto. The shoulders and back of the head of Hamlet (Sam Crane). He is wearing a pink and grey floral t-shirt. His head is shaved on the sides and back. The hair on top is a vibrant teal. He is looking out over a sky of wispy white clouds.

    This movie is about the first play performed in a video game world, and it’s all in-game recordings. During COVID lockdown in England, two actors stumble across a giant outdoor stage and are inspired to mount an in-game production of Hamlet. I’ve never played the game, but I knew that it builds its cities based on real world locations. I was amused when I saw that the stage they found was modeled on the Hollywood Bowl, which is just a few miles from my home.

    There are some scenes that were clearly recreated to allow for some more nuanced acting, but most of the movie seems to be captures of actual rehearsals and performances. It’s a pretty fun spin on the “Let’s Put On A Show” movie.

    The Grand Movie Poster

    My silly poster project has caused me some surprising stress about the movies I choose to see. “That looks interesting, but I don’t know how I’ll spoof the poster.” My current plan: just watch the damn movies and worry about the poster after.

    This was my best idea for this movie. Does it work? Not really. It’s hard to find a GTA screenshot using one point perspective.

    A poster for Grand Theft Hamlet that vaguely resembles the poster for The Grand Budapest Hotel. Part of the Los Santos skyline, modeled after the Los Angeles skyline, with smaller, older buildings in the foreground. The image looks like it was designed to simulate sunset, and has an overall pink tone.
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