Category: Movie Pass Adventures

  • VERY Retro Movie Adventures: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

    Friedrich Feher as Francis in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, staring out as two policemen stare at him.
    Dr. Caligari in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. He is shades of orange. The background is concentric white, cyan, and black rings.

    There’s a lot they hadn’t learned how to do in movies in 1920, but this movie pushes to do the most it can with the available tools and knowledge. No color? Tint the whole frame! No fades? Use oddly-shaped irises! Continuity between shots in a scene? We’ll do that next time and trust the audience to figure it out!

    It’s also pretty amazing to see that so many foundational elements of modern horror movies are in here. Mysterious characters, plot twists, multiple suspects, a surprise ending: they’re all there!

    Is this movie good by today’s standards? Not really. Is it a revolutionary movie for its time? Absolutely.

    And was it funny for me to watch this for the first time decades after watching Forbidden Zone? Oh, so funny.

    This may shock you, but there aren’t great photos available from this movie. But I did manage to pull one that sort-of matched the style of the posters I decided to parody.

    A poster for The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari sort-of in the style of the posters for the Twilight films, with Cesare standing in for Edward.
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  • Retro Streaming Movie Adventures: The Italian Job (1969)

    Michael Caine and Noel Coward looking eye to eye in The Italian Job. Only the middle thirds of their heads are visible.
    Graphic of Michael Caine in The Italian Job. He is shown in shades of yellow and gold. The background is red and magenta.

    My second old school heist movie in a week. This one’s a lot lighter than The Taking of Pelham One Two Three. Cracking good fun!

    Things I learned:

    • Noel Coward could play a convincing crime boss.
    • Benny Hill used to actually act, and was pretty good at it.
    • Benny Hill could play a convincing sex pest. Wait, I knew that one.

    The whole movie is about stealing gold, so this seemed like a natural pairing.

    A poster for The Italian Job parodying the poster for Goldfinger.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Eraserhead (1977)

    Mrs. X, Mary X, and Henry Spencer in Eraserhead.
    The tiny cooked chicken from Eraserhead, colored bright blue on a red and yellow background.

    This feels like a different movie every time I see it. I don’t mean “Golly, I just figured out a new interpretation”; I mean like they keep shooting other scenes and sneaking them into the film.

    Also: Alamo Drafthouse played a clip of Lynch before the film where he said that no one else interpreted the film the way he did, which means all non-Lynch interpretations are equally valid. Personally, I think it’s the origin of Pencilhead from Mystery Men.

    Doug Jones as Pencilhead in Mystery Men. His costume is yellow with white trunks and cardboard cylindrical hat.
    Doug Jones’ finest role. Way better than when he was Fishboy.

    I had a hard time finding a tangentially related poster to parody for this. The end result doesn’t look much like the original, and the original is hardly iconic. I’d be surprised if you can figure it out without looking at the alternate text.

    A poster for Eraserhead based VERY loosely on the poster for Eraser. You know, that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. The one with Vanessa Williams? SO iconic.
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  • Retro Streaming and Movie Pass Adventures: Novocaine and A New Leaf (1970)

    Colorful collage of Jack Quaid in Novocaine and Walter Matthau in A New Leaf.

    Novocaine

    Closeup of Jack Quaid's eyes and nose in Novocaine.

    This movie is a Jack Quaid Charm Delivery Device. Also: I look forward to the upcoming “Is this a Christmas movie?” arguments.

    My fake poster is an argument for pro-Christmas. The only reason I wish this was already on video is that I’d be able to get better source images.

    A New Leaf

    Elaine May looking at Walter Matthau, who is wearing a helmet and not looking elsewhere. Their faces are only partially visible.

    Part two of my Unplanned Walter Matthau Film Festival. It’s a little jarring to go from Matthau as a schubbly transit cop in a gritty suspense story to Matthau as a high society fop in an arch farce.

    …and this movie is on video, but I still couldn’t get decent images. Maybe I just like making excuses for the declining quality of these posters.

    A poster for A New Leaf weakly imitating the poster for Blade Runner.

  • Retro Movie Adventures: The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

    Walter Matthau speaking into a microphone.
    Walter Matthau and Jerry Stiller in The Taking of Pelham One Two Three

    Brief thoughts:

    • Remember when movies were allowed to have a guy like Walter Matthau be the star of the show?
    • As soon as the music starts you know you’re in for a good time.
    • Héctor Elizondo? Did Garry Marshall direct this?
    • Features some classic 1974 racism, sexism, and homophobia!
    • I thought the mayor was a caricature of Ed Koch, but he didn’t become mayor of New York until 1978.

    For today’s poster, I spent far too much time making the movie logo. Then I couldn’t find decent images of Matthau or Robert Shaw that would work for the central image. My “solution” makes it look like this stars Elizondo and Jerry Stiller, with a special appearance by Walter Matthau as the moon. Works for me!

    A poster for The Taking of Pelham One Two Three based on the poster for Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.
    Seriously, far too much time drawing the letters for this one. Also: I hope Héctor Elizondo likes his new very long legs (even though he’s also missing a foot).
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  • Movie Pass Adventures: Mickey 17

    Mickey 18 (Robert Pattinson) and Mickey 17 (Robert Pattinson) stare at each other.
    Robert Pattinson as Mickey 17. He is rendered in warm colors. The background is overlapping duplicates of the foreground face, rendered in cool colors.

    If science fiction has taught me anything, it’s that if you’re planning to use multiple clones of the same person as your workforce, and you can’t have more than one clone of any person at a time, you really need strict protocols to confirm a death before whipping up a new one.

    This movie won’t have many surprises for people familiar with sci-fi cliches, but that’s not very important when the tropes are used well. Pattinson does an impressive of making two characters who look and dress exactly the same very distinct. I don’t think there was ever a time when I was unsure of which Mickey I was looking at.

    Today’s fake poster is a case of “good idea, weak execution.” That’s what you get when I’m whipping up a silly Photoshop project after ten on a school night.

    A poster for Mickey 17 based on the poster for Seven (or Se7en, whatever).
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Purple Rain (1984)

    The eyes of Prince and Apollonia in Purple Rain
    Stylized image of Prince from Purple Rain. He is shown in black, purple, brownish orange, and white. The background is blue and purple.

    Nearly 30 years ago, Fox Mulder gave the most accurate review of this movie:

    I can’t argue with that.

    “Great album. Deeply flawed movie, though.” You’re spot on, Spooky Mulder!

    When I make fake posters, I usually put the real poster down first for layout, then build completely new elements and get rid of the original- but this time I giggled when I saw the way everything looked together and let part of it stay.

    A poster for Purple Rain modeled on (and partially taking directly from) the poster for The Color Purple.
    “Prince Rogers Nelson, get your motorcycle out of the living room!”
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  • Very Retro Movie Adventures: The Cocoanuts (1929)

    Groucho Marx and Margaret Dumont in The Cocoanuts.
    Zeppo, Groucho, Chico, and Harp Marx in a stylized image from The Cocoanuts. THe Marx Brothers are rendered in shades of red and yellow. The background is a hotel lobby in shades of blue.

    “Hey, movies have sound now! We should make one!”

    “Do you know how?”

    “No, but neither does anyone else, so I’m technically the best at it!”

    Pretty happy with the fake poster.

    A poster for The Cocoanuts in the style of the poster for The Brutalist.
    If Groucho won an Oscar he’d give a speech as long and rambling as Adrien Brody’s, but it would be a lot more entertaining.

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  • Streaming Movie Adventures: Soundtrack of a Coup d’Etat

    A long thin image. Black and white, with a cyan overtone. A woman's face is partially visible; you can see her eyes, nose, some hair, and the top of her right ear. She is on the left side of the image,looking to her right.
    A stylized image of Patrice Lumumba shown from the chest up. He is rendered in green and pink pastels. The background is deep red, and words are partially visible.

    The story of the assassination of Patrice Lumumba by the CIA, told through the lens of jazz. I’m sure glad our government hasn’t done anything shady since then.

    It took me a while to get into the rhythm of this- probably because it’s pretty frenetic and I’m running on about four hours of sleep- but even before I locked it I appreciated the look and sound used to make old newsreels, memos, and TV recordings work tell an eventually cohesive story.

    I’ve now seen 40 of the 50 2024 Oscar nominees. I’m mostly missing documentaries: two full length, and all five shorts. The other three are Maria (cinematography), Elton John: Never Too Late (song), and The Six Triple Eight (also song). I might get one or two in before the show tomorrow, but I’ll probably go for a bike ride instead.

    It’s weird to make silly posters for documentaries about serious subjects, but the energy of the film makes it feel a bit more comfortable. I think the only thing I really like about this poster is the title design. It’s not exactly the right base font to match the original, but it’s pretty darn close.

    A poster for Soundtrack of a Coup d'Etat that references the poster for The Sound of Music.
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  • Streaming Movie Adventures: They Came Together (2014)

    Paul Rudd and Amy Pohler looking at the camera in They Came Together
    Stylized image of Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd each dressed as Ben Franklin in They Came Together. They are four colors- black and shades of red and pink. The background is horizontal cyan stripes and blocks.

    It must be hard to make a parody of a generic light romantic comedy since even the real ones are right on the edge of self-parody. This one works when it pushes into absurdity and takes rom-com cliches to their extremes, but the large number of times where the characters just explicitly describe those cliches fall pretty flat.

    Here’s a fake poster for you, inspired by verb tenses:

    A fake poster for They Came Together based on the poster for A Hard Day's Night.
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