Category: movies

  • Retro 70mm Movie Adventures: Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

    Richard Dreyfus plays with his food in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
    Bob Balaban in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

    This movie is full of great performances. I have a new favorite: Tape Guy.

    The true hero of Close Encounters of the Third Kind: TAPE RECORDER GUY!

    You know he begged to sit on stage for this.

    Here’s your fake poster:

    A fake poster for Close Encounters of the Third Kind mimicking the poster for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Lady Killer (1933) and Roy Del Ruth

    James Cagney drags Mae Clarke by her hair in Lady Killer.
    James Cagney and Margaret Lindsay in Lady Killer

    Breezy fun for a movie with multiple murders. Something about young James Cagney reminds me of Malcolm McDowell.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Roy Del Ruth's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Roy Del Ruth.

    Roy Del Ruth directed a ton of films, including a lot of musicals. He was the second highest paid director of the 1930s. His second-to-last film was the classic film “The Alligator People.

    What does today’s fake poster have to do with this movie? Not much!

    A fake poster for Lady Killer mimicking the poster for An Officer and a Gentleman

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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Greeks Had a Word for Them (1932) and Ina Claire

    The cast of The Greeks Had a Word for Them.
    The cast of The Greeks Had a Word for Them.

    This is the story of three women who live to have fun. Sometimes that means they steal each others lovers, but that’s never more than a slight annoyance. The story constantly changes into whatever requires them to stand around in their underwear.

    …and the word the Greeks had was apparently hetaira.

    Walk of Fame: Ina Claire

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Ina Claire's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Ina Claire.

    Ina Claire plays Jane, the wildest of the three. In her first scene she hits on a stranger and convinces him to pay her bar tab (that’s somewhere around $900 in 2025 dollars). One of her signature subtle moves is to accidentally lose her dress.

    In the 1920s she was popular enough to have a recognizable signature hairstyle.

    A chart titled "If you must do it show this to your Barber," showing drawings of different versions of bob haircuts. The first drawing is titles "Shingle, or Ina Claire Bob."

    Today’s fake poster started with me trying to find another movie with a title of similar length. I don’t know if anyone will recognize it without seeing the original, but I think it works pretty well!

    A fake poster for The Greeks Had a Word for Them mimicking the poster for The Last Temptation of Christ
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Women (1939) and Mary Boland

    Joan Crawford and Norma Shearer staring at each other in The Women.
    The cast of The Women.

    This movie has an all-female cast, is over two hours long, and still somehow never manages to have a single conversation that isn’t centered around men. The message of the movie: if you love your husband, don’t mess things up by complaining about a little cheating.

    Also: this movie is in black and white, except for a shift to color in the middle that probably would have seemed much cooler if The Wizard of Oz hadn’t come out two weeks before this.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Mary Boland's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Mary Boland.

    Mary Boland’s acting niche was apparently “older woman who takes young lovers.” She has a pretty hefty part in this as Countess DeLave, a woman who helps the lead character find the strength to give up her pride and fight to win back her cheating husband. Girl power, I guess!

    Today’s fake poster is completely based on the title of the movie being two words, with the first one being “the.”

    A fake poster for The Women mimicking the poster for The Departed

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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Hi Diddle Diddle (1943) and Pola Negri

    The cast of Hi Diddle Diddle
    Adolphe Menjou and Pola Negri in Hi Diddle Diddle.

    Fun mindless nonsense. Not afraid to go full screwball. Also, apparently Tarantino loves this movie.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Pola Negri's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Pola Negri.

    Pola Negri was an actor who was also an opera singer. She plays an opera singer in this, but the twist is that she’s playing a bad opera singer. Gotta love someone unafraid to poke fun at themselves.

    Today’s poster is all about doubled words. Today’s poster is all about doubled words.

    A poster for Hi Diddle Diddle mimicking the poster for Kramer vs. Kramer.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Show People (1928) and Karl Dane

    Marion Davies in Show People
    The cast of Show People

    thought I was past the point of laughing at people making silly faces, but Marion Davies made me giggle. This is a “small town girl goes to Hollywood to make it big” movie, and it’s full of references to and cameos of stars who have faded from public memory. At one point Peggy (Davies) gets excited and yells “That’s John Gilbert!”, and I had to look him up to see if he was a real person or made up for the movie (he was real). I did recognize Charlie Chaplin, though.

    This movie is a sort-silent film. There’s no recorded dialogue, but it came with a soundtrack record. Trying to keep them synchronized must have been a nightmare for the projectionist.

    Walk of Fame: Karl Dane

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Karl Dane's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Karl Dane.

    Much like Mona Barrie and Syncopation, I picked this movie specifically to see a Karl Dane performance, and he’s barely in it. He does a thirty second bit as himself at a luncheon. I probably should have gone with The Red Mill.

    Dane is one of those successful actors who had their career killed by sound pictures; He had a thick Dutch accent, and no one could understand him. He looked for other work, but ended up broke. He died from suicide, and only received a proper funeral when MGM was shamed into paying for it.

    Today’s poster is all about the people. It’s also my second attempt at reasonable handwriting in a week. I need more practice.

    A fake poster for Show people mimicking the poster for Ordinary People.
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  • Movie (no) Pass Adventures: Weapons

    Stylized image of Julia Garner in Weapons.
    A in silhouette child running across a street at night in the movie Weapons.

    Fun. Spooky. Sometimes gory. And no spoilers, but as a guy who just had to do his mandated reporter training for at least the fifteenth time, I feel pretty confident saying that Child Protective Services doesn’t work like that.

    I went for the obvious with today’s poster.

    A fake poster for Weapons mimicking the poster for Lethal Weapon.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Syncopation (1942) and Mona Barrie

    Bonita Granville as Kit and Jackie Cooper as Johnny in Syncopation
    Todd Duncan as Rex Tearbone playing coronet in Syncopation.

    Syncopation needs to pick a lane. It starts out looking like it will be about the evolution of jazz from slave music, then about the parallel struggles of a black boy and a white girl struggling to be accepted as musicians at the start of the swing era, before (mostly) settling in to a story about a couple of white people saving jazz (as white people do in movies).

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Mona Barrie's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Mona Barrie.

    Mona Barrie has a small part in this movie, which doesn’t seem to surprise Wikipedia. Their page about Barrie says “her lack of a glamorous beauty resulted in her generally being cast in important but secondary roles.” Rude.

    Even though her part is small, I made sure to mention her on today’s fake poster.

    A fake poster for Syncopation mimicking the poster for Endless Love
    Some day I’m going to have to write about the creepiness of Endless Love.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: White Tiger (1923) and Raymond Griffith

    Priscilla Dean and Rayond Griffith in White Tiger
    Raymond Griffith, Priscilla Dean, and a Mechanical Chess Player in White Tiger

    Priscilla Dean looks like a cross between Drew Barrymore and Tina Fey. She’s easily the best part of this forgettable movie.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Raymond Griffith's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Raymond Griffith.

    I had three movie choices for Raymond Griffith:

    • A comedy called Hands Up! that’s available in very poor quality on YouTube
    • The 1930 version of All Quiet on the Western Front, where Griffith has a very small but memorable part
    • This movie

    I probably should have gone with Hands Up!. It’s a comedy, and he was a famous silent comedian (his nickname: The Man with the Silk Hat). But I’ll try to make it up to you, Raymond. If All Quiet on the Western Front comes up as an option for someone with a larger part, I’ll watch it.

    Today’s fake poster is based on a different “Color + Animal” movie.

    This is the last star at 6124 Hollywood Boulevard. Next up: 6140!

    A fake poster for White Tiger mimicking the poster for Black Swan.
    I wish there was a clearer picture, but how much can you expect to find from a movie that’s over a century old?
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  • Movie (no) Pass Adventures: Videoheaven

    Stylized image of a woman pulling a video tape in a case off a shelf.
    A man sitting at a video store counter, resting his chin on his hand.

    A documentary about video stores- a business model that started and pretty much died during my life- and how they are presented in film is a great idea. I liked this a lot, but I would have liked it more if it was a little shorter and the voice-over text was more polished.

    The challenge of making a poster from a movie made of clips from a ton of other movies is that there’s no one character to focus on. So I used it as an excuse to make a classic “one billion floating heads” poster.

    A fake poster for Videoheaven mimicking the poster for Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
    How ’bout that “shelf life” joke? Pretty good, yeah?
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