Category: Photoshop

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Sons of the Desert and William Seiter

    Oliver Hardy & Stan Laurel in Sons of the Desert.
    Oliver Hardy & Stan Laurel in Sons of the Desert.

    I’ve never watched Laurel & hardy, but based on this movie, this seems to be the formula for most of their comedy:

    • Ollie acts like a blowhard.
    • Stan does an absurd and funny thing.
    • Ollie slowly and exactly describes the thing Stan just did.
    • Ollie mugs to the camera.
    • Repeat.

    Can you tell which one I thought was funnier?

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of William Seiter's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of William Seiter.

    William Seiter’s Wikipedia entry says “Seiter earned a reputation for his charming comedies that were moderately paced and kept the laughs coming quietly, rather than resorting to obvious jokes and slapstick.” He must have abandoned that for this movie.

    …and now it’s time for another “you’ll only know the reference if you’re a movie poster fanatic” fake poster!

    A fake poster for Sons of the Desert mimicking the poster for Dog Day Afternoon.

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: How to Marry a Millionaire and Jean Negulesco

    Marilyn Monroe, Lauren Bacall, and Betty Grable in How to Marry a Millionaire.
    The cast of How to Marry a Millionaire sitting at a diner counter, singing.

    Marilyn Monroe with glasses is so much hotter than Marilyn Monroe without them. However, I did appreciate that her vanity about being seen wearing them explained that a lot of her ditziness and clumsiness was actually symptoms of blindness.

    This was one of the first CinemaScope pictures, and you can tell by the opening scene: a five minute performance by a full orchestra that has nothing to do with the story. They obviously thought “Hey, we’ve got a really wide screen- what’s a really wide thing with impressive sound we can film?”

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Jean Negulesco's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Jean Negulesco.

    How to Marry a Millionaire was directed by Jean Negulesco. He received his star at 6212 Hollywood Boulevard on February 8, 1960. He was one year older than I am now, so I’m hoping I get my star next year.

    Today’s fake poster is based on a slightly different movie about relationships.

    A fake poster for How to Marry a Millionaire mimicking the poster for Dangerous Liaisons.

    Fediverse reactions

  • Re-released Movie Adventures: Shin Godzilla (2016)

    One of the forms of Godzilla in Shin Godzilla
    The cast of Shin Godzilla

    Godzilla vs. bureaucracy. The soundtrack often has to drum up excitement in scenes of middle management meetings:

    *BOMPATA-BOMPATA-BOMBOMBOMBPA*

    “Inform the Prime Minister that the meeting with the Zoning Commission will happen at 11:00.”

    “But that overlaps his meeting with the Sewage Line Planning Committee.”

    *BOMPATA-BOMPATA-BOMBOMBOMBPA*

    “Push the SLPC to noon.”

    “But what about lunch?”

    “LUNCH WILL HAVE TO WAIT.”

    *BOMPATA-BOMPATA-BOMBOMBOMBPA BOW BOW BOW BAAAAWW!*

    But it works!

    Today’s fake poster is based on another movie about hunting a monster.

    A fake poster for Shin Godzilla mimicking the poster for Kids.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Son of the Sheik (1921) and Rudolph Valentino

    Rudolph Valentino and Vilma Bánky in The Son of the Sheik.
    Vilma Bánky and Rudolph Valentino in The Son of the Sheik.

    A classic “You know who should be in charge of this Arabic country? The British” film. Lots of macho men and kept women.

    I went through three different sources for this before I found a decent free print.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Rudolph Valentino's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Rudolph Valentino.

    Valentino’s popularity was dropping when this came out, but then he died on the press tour and this movie became huge. He has a great face, but he looks better when you don’t see the rest of his head.

    Bonus: there’s a pretty big part for Karl Dane– much larger than the film I specifically watched to see him.

    Today’s fake poster is from another movie that uses the “[blank] of the [blank]” format.

    A fake poster for The Son of the Sheik mimicking the poster for The Day of the Jackal.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Movie Pass Adventures: Honey Don’t!

    Margaret Qualley as Honey in Honey Don't!
    Margaret Qualley as Honey in Honey Don't!

    I think this is exactly the sloppy, goofy movie that Ethan Coen wanted to make. It has fun bits- Charlie Day’s twist on a clueless cop is strong- but it’s less than the sum of its parts. In the glory days of cable you’d stumble into the middle of this while flipping channels, chuckle at a scene or two, and move on.

    I think today’s poster is a Oneder.

    A fake poster for Honey Don't! mimicking the poster for That Thing You Do!
    I like the way this poster makes it look like the movie is a romantic comedy where Margaret Qualley has to chose Chris Pine or Charlie Day, and her friends don’t like either of them.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Dark Victory (1939) and Herbert Rawlinson

    Portrait of Bette Davis as Angela in Dark Victory
    Bette Davis lying sideways in Dark Victory.

    Before I saw this I read the title and thought this was a war movie. I never thought it would be about a light and bubbly Bette Davis with a brain tumor.

    Humphrey Bogart is in this, and I was halfway through the movie before I realized he was doing an Irish accent.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Herbert Rawlinson's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Herbert Rawlinson.

    Herbert Rawlinson was a lead actor in silent movies who became a character actor when sound appeared. He has a pretty small part in this as a doctor who finds a doctor who can handle brains better than himself. He’s my last missing star at 6150 Hollywood Boulevard. On to 6166!

    This is another “I think this poster’s pretty funny if you know the sources (but you probably don’t)” poster.

    A fake poster for Dark Victory mimicking the poster for Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: The Little American (1917) and Jeanie MacPherson

    Mary Pickford in The Little American
    Movie bar for The Little American

    Apparently the concept of “No one will harm me- I’m an American!” has been around for a while.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Jeanie MacPherson's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Jeanie MacPherson.

    Jeanie MacPherson wrote this, and she never met a coincidence she didn’t like. Angela (Mary Pickford) has two people courting her in America, who go to fight on opposite sides in WWI Europe. The Angela gets a letter from an aunt in France asking her to come take care of her. When she gets to France, one suitor is part of an army unit taking over the aunt’s house, and the other just happens to be leading the opposing force.

    Also: one guy is fighting to free France, and has been nothing but a gentleman to Angela. The other is fighting to take over the country, and when he’s reunited with Angela he doesn’t recognize her and tries to rape her. Naturally, she ends up picking the would-be rapist. So weird.

    Today’s fake poster is only roughly similar in layout, but it was fun to draw all the dripping blood in the title mockup.

    A fake poster for The Little American mimicking the poster for Little Shop of Horrors.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Retro Movie Adventures: Shall We Dance? (1996)

    Tomio and Shohei dance in the work bathroom in Shall We Dance?
    The dancers of Shall We Dance?

    I think I’m going to start walking like Tomio. Also: I loved this movie.

    Today’s poster is based on a different romantic comedy that’s a bit less heartwarming.

    A fake poster for Shall We Dance? mimicking the poster for Shallow Hal.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Retro 70mm Movie Adventures: Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977)

    Richard Dreyfus plays with his food in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
    Bob Balaban in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

    This movie is full of great performances. I have a new favorite: Tape Guy.

    The true hero of Close Encounters of the Third Kind: TAPE RECORDER GUY!

    You know he begged to sit on stage for this.

    Here’s your fake poster:

    A fake poster for Close Encounters of the Third Kind mimicking the poster for Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
    Fediverse reactions

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Lady Killer (1933) and Roy Del Ruth

    James Cagney drags Mae Clarke by her hair in Lady Killer.
    James Cagney and Margaret Lindsay in Lady Killer

    Breezy fun for a movie with multiple murders. Something about young James Cagney reminds me of Malcolm McDowell.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Roy Del Ruth's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Roy Del Ruth.

    Roy Del Ruth directed a ton of films, including a lot of musicals. He was the second highest paid director of the 1930s. His second-to-last film was the classic film “The Alligator People.“

    What does today’s fake poster have to do with this movie? Not much!

    A fake poster for Lady Killer mimicking the poster for An Officer and a Gentleman

    Fediverse reactions
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