Category: Photoshop

  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Jungle Bride (1933) and Anita Page

    Styized image of Anita Page in Jungle Bride
    Eddie Borden and Charles Starrett in Jungle Bride

    Well, this isn’t very good. Just over an hour long with probably twenty minutes of not-compelling stock footage, and lots of weak dialogue and stiff performances. One thing I was glad it do not do: it didn’t have any racist “jungle tribes.”

    I really only watched this for one thing:

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Anita Page's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Anita Page.

    Anita Page had a weird career. She started in Silents, was a co-star with Joan Crawford, and apparently at one point second only to Greta Garbo at MGM. She worked sound movies for about a year and retired, then came back for a film in the sixties (that didn’t get released until 2001!) and retired again, then came back in the late 1990s/early 2000s to make a few low budget shot on video movies.

    Jungle Bride is a pre-code film, and has some nudity: about a tenth of a second of exposed breast. The fake poster is based on another shipwreck movie that featured controversial nudity.

    A fake poster for Jungle Bride mimicking the poster for Blue Lagoon.
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  • Walk of Fame Adventures: Design For Living (1933) and Will H. Hays

    Fredric March, Miriam Hopkins, and Gary Cooper in Design For Living.
    Fredric March, Miriam Hopkins, and Gary Cooper in Design For Living.

    A woman falls in love with two men, so they all live together? Where man has sex with a laundry woman so he can have a clean shirt for a date with someone else? Pretty wild for 1933.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Will H. Hays's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Will H. Hays.

    Will Hays had nothing to do with this move. He never starred in a movie. He never wrote, directed, or produced a movie. He was a politician and chairman of the Republican National Committee before becoming the first chairman of the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America. He’s best remembered for the Hays Code, a set of moral rules that films were required to follow. I thought there could be no better way to celebrate him than to watch a film that gleefully breaks a bunch of those rules.

    Lucky for us, the Hays Code was abandoned, and no Republicans ever try to censor any one any more.

    This fake poster is based on the incredibly clever idea that the opposite of “living” is “dead.”

    A fake poster for Design For Living mimicking the poster for Dawn of the Dead.
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  • Walk of Fame Movie Adventures: Shock (1946) and Lynn Bari

    Lynn Bari and Vincent Price in Shock.
    Michael Dunne and Frank Latimore in Shock.

    What if seeing a stranger murder someone made you CRAY-ZEE??? And the only doctor who could help you turns out to be the murderer??? If this happens to you, you’re probably a character in a film noir.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Lynn Bari's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Lynn Bari.

    Wikipedia says Lynn Bari “specialized in playing sultry, statuesque man-killers.” She’s more of a “get a man to be a killer” here, but close enough. Her real name is Marjorie Fisher, and I can totally see a parallel world where Marge Fisher specializes in playing the sassy friend to the romantic lead. She worked on at least 113 films over 20 years, so she kept busy.

    It’s hard to find posters to mimic for titles as generic as this. I ended up making something that matches the layout of the original, but that’s about it.

    A fake poster for Shock mimicking the poster for Point Break
    I also got lazy and used Photoshop’s “automatic color” thing, which is why her hair fades to black and white.
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  • Movie Pass Adventures: Together

    Stylized image of Alison Brie and Dave Franco as Millie and Tim looking down at the camera in Together. They are shades of brown and tan. The background is shades of green.
    Alison Brie and Dave Franco as Millie and Tim in Together.

    Now that’s what I call a sticky situation!

    Here, a poster for you:

    A fake poster of Together mimicking the poster for Singles.
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  • Movie Pass Adventures: The Naked Gun

    Stylized image of Pamela Anderson and Liam Neeson looking at each other intensly.
    Pamela Anderson on stage at a nightclub.

    It was a pleasure to sit a room full of strangers and laugh at something that was intentionally made to be funny. And they nailed the most important requirement of any Naked Gun movie: a Weird Al Yankovic cameo.

    For today’s poster I thought “What’s the opposite of naked?”

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  • Movie Pass Adventures: Oh, Hi!

    Stylized image of Geraldine Viswanathan and Molly Gordon in Oh, Hi! They are shades of purple and magenta. The background is yelllow and orange
    Logan Lerman and Molly Gordon riding in a car in Oh, Hi!

    A classic “we have a great idea for the first half of a story” movie. No bad performances (and some really good ones), but they can’t charm the movie into having an ending that both makes sense and sticks to the tone of the first two thirds of the film.

    Not my best fake poster. The only people who will know what movie is referenced are true film freaks.

    A poster for Oh, Hi! mimicking the poster for Freaks.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: A Place in the Sun (1951) and Montgomery Clift

    Montgomery Clift, eyes closed, rests his head on the chest of Elizabeth Taylor
    The mouths of Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift facing each other in A Place in the Sun.

    Why are all the other characters in this movie smitten with George (Montgomery Clift)? He’s handsome, but he’s a lunkhead. George’s uncle gives him a job where one rule is explicitly given as unbreakable: Don’t date employees. If George had just followed that one rule, everyone ends up happy. Grow up, George.

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Montgomery Clift's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Montgomery Clift.

    George is played by Montgomery Clift, who I knew stories about but mostly knew through the Clash song about him. He played a lot of aloof, sensitive men. I won’t get into it here, but he had a rough, short life.

    There are only two motion picture Walk of Fame stars at 6104 Hollywood Boulevard. Next up: 6116!

    The dumb thinking for today’s poster: This movie is called “A Place in the Sun,” and the sun shines, so…

    A poster for A Place in the Sun Mimicking the poster for The Shining.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: The Stranger (1946) and Loretta Young

    Silhouette of Orson Welles and Loretta Young embracing in The Stranger. They are in black and white; the background is rings of dark and bright red.
    Edward G. Robinson, Loretta Young, and Orson Welles in a publicity still for The Stranger.

    Orson Welles plays a Nazi who is so smart that he’s destroyed all evidence of who he is and passed himself off as not German to a small town in the middle of America, but still buries bodies in shallow graves within walking distance of his house. Lots of strong performances make the nonsense of the story work.

    Also: Loretta Young and Edward G. Robinson seem to be having an eyebrow contest. Loretta is winning. And speaking of Loretta:

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Loretta Young's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Loretta Young.

    This is exactly the kind of person that made me start this Walk of Fame project. An Acadamey Award winner who was in over 100 films, and I’d somehow seen none of them. But what you probably want to know is “did she have a recipe for chicken curry?”

    Yes she did.

    This movie officially finishes 6100 Hollywood Boulevard on the Walk of Fame! It’s my first step eastward, and it only took three days! At this rate I’ll be done in less than a couple of decades!

    Today’s poster doesn’t quite make sense, but I loved it and the movie it came from so much that I forced it to work. Mostly.

    A poster for The Stranger mimicking the poster for All About Eve.
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  • Retro Movie Adventures: All About Eve (1950) and Gregory Ratoff

    Bette Davis as Margo in All Abut Eve.
    Bette Davis and Anne Baxter as Margo and Eve in All About Eve.

    This is a movie I’d seen referenced a million times but never bothered to see. What a mistake- this thing is a hoot and a half! Bette Davis is made of fire and acid.

    Walk of Fame Watch: Gregory Ratoff

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of JGregory Ratoff's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Gregory Ratoff.

    Why would you put this guy on the same corner as Gregory Peck? Sure, the guy was a big producer and director, but a much less famous actor than Peck. In All About Eve he plays something he played a lot: a producer. Big stretch, buddy!

    Okay, this fake poster made me chuckle.

    A poster for All About Eve mimicking the poster for What About Bob?.
    Based on another movie from the “<word> About <3 letter name>” title collection.

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  • Retro Movie Adventures: Imitation of Life (1959) featuring Juanita Moore

    Juanita Moore as Annie Johnson in Imitation of Life.
    The eyes of Lana Turner and Juanita Moore in Imitation of Flife

    This is a movie that has a heavy racial equality message. It’s also a movie where a black woman lives and works in the home of a white woman for for over a decade and the white woman doesn’t realize the black woman has friends. It’s a movie where Lora treats Annie as an equal, but lets Annie call her “Miss Lora” for her entire life. It’s a movie where Annie’s daughter is berated for wanting to pass as white, but expects her to limit her life to “acceptable” jobs for black people.

    Walk of Fame Watch: Juanita Moore

    Composite picture. On the left, a mockup of Juanita Moore's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. On the Right, a black and white portrait photo of Juanita Moore.

    Juanita Moore was nominated for an Academy Award and A Golden Globe for this part. She appeared in over 50 films, and worked for 40 years after this movie came out.

    And when did she get her star on the Walk of Fame?

    October of 2024, ten years after she died. Way to be timely, Hollywood.

    Today’s poster inspiration is another movie about the imitation of life.

    A poster for Imitation of Life mimicking the poster for Night of the Living Dead.
    I went a little more “used poster” on this one.
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