Please enjoy some bad writing about sex

Bad writing is like bad pizza.

Don’t write like this. If you do write like this, don’t send it to a publisher. It’s creepy, embarrassing, and hilarious. You could be doing much more valuable things, like finally cleaning out that space under the kitchen sink or taking a really good nap.

Also: don’t publish writing like this. That’s paper that could be still be trees. Instead it’s a permanent record of a complete lack of understanding of composition, physical intimacy, and basic anatomy.

I changed my mind. Publish all writing like this. It accidentally brings the reader satisfaction. I hope that’s not a parallel to anything in the authors’ lives.

One reply on “Please enjoy some bad writing about sex”

I read a couple of these books this year. Gilbert and that Electric Hotel thing. The sex scenes pulled out like this clearly show serious suckage. I’m embarrassed when writers write that during sex people are making “animal noises.” Cooing pigeons—the young couple pecked their way through garbage pleasure. Zzzzing sizzle.

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