Author: Ga2so

  • The Internet’s Biggest Secret EXPOSED!

    The Original Secret Leaders of the Internet working hard at World Internet Control
    James Faysboch, I. N. Stagram, Arthur Tique-Toque, and Thomas Witter at the first iteration of World Internet Control (August 1966).

    A day or two ago I saw a post where someone was complaining about being in “Instagram Jail.” At the end of the post they wrote “it’s frightening how much power they have.” And it is, but the really frightening part is that we gave it to them.

    Warning: Old Man About To Yell At Cloud

    This biased and inaccurately remembered ramble goes somewhere, eventually.

    Decades ago, I put up my first website. It was a single page hosted on my CSUN account. Here’s the oldest version I can find on the Wayback Machine, but the original version was much simpler. I wrote out the tiny bit of HTML in a text editor, made some graphics in some freeware image editor, and used FTP to post it. The only way to find it was to get the address from me (or someone else who somehow stumbled onto it). It was poorly coded, terribly designed, full of stuff that most of the world had no interest in, and no one else had a site quite like it. That’s not a brag about how clever and valuable the site was; every site was like that. Good ones, bad ones, hideous or beautiful, pointless or useful: all unique. I found other, similarly weird people and made friends.

    And my site evolved. I started using web page editors. Remember when Netscape Navigator had a built-in editor? Remember when Netscape Navigator existed? I purchased a web domain (here’s the oldest version I can find of this site). Search engines started doing a fairly decent job of indexing the web, and people started to find me on their own. I was never huge, but I was in the d-tier of internet fame. It was actually pretty easy to hit that level when sites were still pretty rare.

    Then social media sites started growing, and the World Wide Wild West settled down. People who would have struggled to make their own sites in the past realized it was easier to customize a page on MySpace, and you had the bonus of having a community built right in.

    Now we’ve moved beyond even that tiny bit of customization. Everyone posts on sites where every post is formatted the same way, algorithms try to decide what generic content will make you stay on sites the longest, and you can get locked out of a site (and even lose decades of your work) almost at random. We traded control & creativity for convenience. Yes, me too.

    One Weird Trick to Fix the Internet

    So, now we’re all on the same three or four websites, everything looks the same, and the punishment for daring to look at a cat video is being fed endless cat videos. What can you do?

    A few things. None of these will magically fix the internet, but they’ll make the stuff that shown to you closer to the things you want to see. Some of these are easier than others.

    Use an adblocker

    Websites don’t need to know everything about you. Find an adblocker and use it. As of February 2024 I’m using uBlock Origin, but that could change.

    Stop liking & sharing garbage

    Your friend posted a video of his cats? Cool! Like and share that thing!

    Your friend found a useful or entertaining channel of original cat videos? Cool! Like and share that thing!

    Your friend posted a random video of a funny cat he found online, or a website full of “collected “curated” (AKA “stolen”) random cat videos? Don’t like it, don’t share it, don’t even watch it. It’s a content farm gathering data about you.

    Your friend reposts a Facebook post that asks a simple question like “What’s something you wish was still around?” Block the original site. Don’t like it, don’t share it, don’t respond to it. It’s a content farm gathering data about you.

    Use a social network that doesn’t track you

    This one’s hard. I’ve found a couple Mastodon servers that I enjoy, but it takes work to find ones that work for you, and getting set up can be confusing.

    Create your own site!

    This one is a lot easier than it used to be, but it’s still work, and you’ll spend a lot of time feeling like you’re shouting into the void. Will anyone ever read this? Probably not. But I control it and it won’t go anywhere unless I want it to. Squarespace, Wix, WordPress… there are lots of options. You might even go crazy and learn how to actually code a page!

    Did anyone get this far?

    Probably not. If you did, thanks for plowing through my rant. Next time, maybe I’ll complain about AI-generated images!

  • Copyrighted Mickey Mouse of the Day #00004

    “I hate this job, and I hate you, Pete!”

    Pete looked at his feet in complete defeat. “Look, Mickey, I know I fly off the handle sometimes, but I need you here.”

    Mickey Mouse was having none of it. “None of it will I have!” he heaved. “I’m going to pursue my real dream: baking pastries!”

    He marched off the boat and straight to his new bakery. He worked nonstop for days to fill his shop with delicious treats. In fact, he worked so hard that he fell asleep on the racks of pastries. When he awoke, his ears felt heavy and everything sounded like he was lisening through a wall. He ran to the bathroom and discoverd each ear had been perfectly sealed by one of his cinnamon buns! Oh, how he cried.

    Cinnamon bun Mickey Mouse

  • Copyrighted Mickey Mouse of the Day #000003

    Mickey Mouse sat quietly on the deck of the steamboat. Barely moving, barely breathing, barely existing.

    “Is this all I am meant to be? Is this my life?”

    He knew that something needed to change- but what?

    “Oh, I know- plastic surgery will solve my problems!”

    And it did and everything was perfect forever.

    Elective surgery Mickey Mouse

  • Copyrighted Mickey Mouse of the Day #000002

    Wow. Such a brilliant bit of character development. This one’s going to recontextualize everything you ever thought you knew about Michelin Mouse! I am making space on my awards rack for all the awards I will be awarded for this soon-to-be-award-winning character. AWARD.

    Mickey Mouse With A Smaller Mickey Mouse For A Nose. He is saying "Pick Me!"

  • New Feature: Copyrighted Mickey Mouse of the Day #000001

    Now that the original Mickey Mouse is out of copyright, I can finally start the feature I’ve always wanted to do since I thought of it nearly 30 minutes ago! Every day for the rest of time (or until I forget or get bored) I will introduce a BRAND NEW ORIGINAL CHARACTER based on everyone’s favorite public domain character, Michael J. Mouse (AKA “Mickey”).  I think you’ll agree that the first entry is brilliant- and they’re only going to get BETTER! Or WORSE! Or be about THE SAME!

    Mickey Mouse With A Unibrow

  • Such a great show

    A hand holding the program for "The Empty Monty." A stage can be seen in the background.

    I saw this at a car wash in Van Nuys. An amazing re-imagining of “The Fully Monty” set in a nudist colony. The final scene featured the leads all putting on coveralls. Donny Osmond sang four solo songs and did a tap dance, which was weird because he wasn’t in the cast.

  • Letterboxd

    Hey, all none of you who ever read my blog: Now I’m putting stuff you won’t see on Letterboxd as well! Let us be friends there as we are here, imaginary person!

    In conclusion, please enjoy this image of a boy with an albino squirrel on his head.

    Black and white photo of a boy with an albino squirrel on his head.
    RELEVANT!

  • Famous Movie Scenes, Part II

    Less than 24 hours ago I posted a collection of some of my favorite movie scenes, and it quickly became the most popular piece of media ever created.  I was nominated for twelve Pulitzer Prizes and three Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards, and I was declared President of the Earth and Related Planetary Systems.

    So here are a few more.

    The jury from 12 Angry Men.
    The jury from 12 Angry Men (1957).

    Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell in His Girl Friday (1940).
    Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell in His Girl Friday (1940).

    Marlon Brando in The Godfather (1972).
    Marlon Brando in The Godfather (1972).

    Boris Karloff in Frankenstein (1931).
    Boris Karloff in Frankenstein (1931).

    I’m pretty sure that’s every movie ever made.