Category: Bike

  • This is my favorite bike

    My bike. A Surly Long Haul Trucker. The frame fades color from yellow to orange. The handlebars are wrapped with multicolor bar tape. the frame has a U-lock and a cable attached to it. The bike is in a park on a clear day, leaning against a cement bench. A trash can and a sign are visible in the background. The bike is sitting on a dirt circle with very short yellow and green grass around it. There are trees and cars in the distance. The sky is clear blue. Power lines overhead recede into the distance.

    Many years ago I was getting on the freeway near my apartment when I saw a bike hanging on a fence near the on-ramp. I thought “if that bike is still there when I’m coming home, I’m going to go check it out.” I was gone all day, so I knew it wouldn’t be there that night.

    But it was.

    I drove home, then walked back to the bike. It was originally olive green, but someone had half-sprayed parts of it blue.

    Closeup of a cable guide on the frame of my yellow bike. The guide is silver, with blue paint partially scraped off.
    A little legacy blue on the cable guide.

    It was probably abandoned or stolen. There’s also a pretty deep dent in the top tube, so it might have simply been thrown away. I didn’t know anything about the model but it looked nice. I took it home to either figure out who it belonged to or, if it was the right size, repair it and keep it.

    I tried finding the original owner. Lost and found, Craigslist, even contacting the manufacturer to see if they had a record of the purchase. No luck, but I did figure out that it’s an early 2000s Surly Long Haul Trucker.

    Since I couldn’t find anyone it belonged to, I started fixing it. I am not a mechanic, so a lot of “me fixing it” fixing it was “me taking it to a bike shop,” but I did manage to paint it. It looks really cool if you don’t look too hard. After I painted it I found a helmet that matches. It’s supposedly a woman’s helmet, but the only difference seems to be a slightly larger gap in the back to let out a ponytail.

    My bike. A Surly Long Haul Trucker. The frame fades color from yellow to orange. The handlebars are wrapped with multicolor bar tape. the frame has a U-lock and a cable attached to it. The bike is standing up in a cement gutter. A yellow, orange and black Specialized helmet rests on the handlebars.
    Pretty good unplanned match!

    Once I had it in running condition, I rode it. A lot. It’s exactly the right size. It’s designed to carry lots of stuff for long distances, so it’s incredibly comfortable. It has old-school bar-end shifters to stay out of the way of anything you might load on the thing.

    A close-up of a bar-end shifter. The shifter is scraped and worn, and has a lumpy gray blob covering the shift handle. The handlebar (wrapped with multicolor bar tab) and the front of a yellow bicycle are visible. Out of focus in the background are a park with an electrical tower, some trees, and some cars.
    Bar end shifters with custom lumpy Sugru replacement grips.

    In 2016 I rode my first century on my 50th birthday on it. It reminded me how much I love riding. I moved up in features (and price). My current road bike weighs about half what this one does and has lots of electronic doodads. This bike ended up neglected in a closet at work.

    Today I took it out for a ride at lunch. I had forgotten how great it feels to ride. Smooth and easy. The new bike is fun and fast, but this really is a bike I could sit on all day. It’s like it was waiting for me to find it.

    I apologize for neglecting you, bike. I promise to ride you more often.

    The handlebar (wrapped with multicolor bar tab) and the front of a yellow bicycle are visible. Out of focus in the background are a park, some trees, and some cars.
    This bike isn’t afraid of whimsical bar tape.
    The top tube of a yellow bicycle, shot from above. The tube has two visible stickers: the bottom half of a drawing of Porky Pig, and a red stick with a white portrait of Joe Strummer superimposed with a partially visible quote from Henry Rollins - the edges wrap around and hdes the first and last last letters of each line. The full quote is: THIS IS NOT A TIME TO BE DISMAYED THIS IS PUNK ROCK TIME THIS IS WHAT JOE STRUMMER TRAINED YOU FOR IT IS NOW TIME TO GO YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON THAT MEANS MORE NOW THAN EVER What's actually visible is: S NOT A TIME TO BE DISMA S IS PUNK ROCK TIM IS IS WHAT E STRUMMER INED YOU FOR NOW TIME TO GO RE A GOOD PERSON EANS MORE NOW THAN EVER
    Joe Strummer is a new addition.

    Fediverse reactions

  • A short(ish) video about bike lanes inspired by Denise

    The actual conversation I had with Denise only started with the Hollywood Boulevard bike lane. It spun off from there into discussions of stuff like infrastructure in general, public transportation, the “last mile” problem, and affordable housing in Los Angeles- way too much to get into for a tiny bike video. Maybe I’ll get into that stuff in another, equally exciting video.

    Also: you should check out Denise’s Etsy shop.

  • Gone in 68 seconds

  • Hey- a bike video!

  • Cycling: Serious Business

    Two pictures of me wearing cycling jerseys. One has Bert & Ernie from Sesame street. The other is a Waffle House Jersey with matching bike shorts.

  • A WINNER IS ME!

    My Mortal Foe, Daniel Quinn: VANQUISHED!

    Peep this:

    DEVASTATING. YOU’RE DEVASTATED.

    TWENTY FIVE POINT TWO PERCENT. Pity poor Daniel Quinn, for his paltry 25.02% of the Valley has been crushed.

    This is me:

    …and this is PATHETIC HAS BEEN DANIEL QUINN:

    At this point, the only way he could possibly catch me is if he rode SEVEN MILES. IMPOSSIBLE! NO MAN CAN RIDE SEVEN MILES AND LIVE TO TELL THE TALE.

    My glory will never be surpassed!

    The killing blow:

    Now go and tell the world of this glorious day!

    (maybe don’t tell Daniel)

  • Closing in on my Mortal Enemy as a new foe appears

    As you know, Daniel Quinn is my mortal enemy – but my campaign to defeat him is working!

    At the start of this month, I had covered 18.66 percent of the San Fernando Valley. Quinn had 24.9 percent, the cruel coward! But the tides are turning, old friend. This month he has only added a PATHETIC 0.7 miles to his Valley total.

    Now check this out:

    Oh, yeah- unreadable maps are my jam!

    Including today’s ride to Tujunga & Sunland, I have added 88.3!

    I now have conquered 21.16 percent of the Valley, more than 40 percent of the gap between us. If I maintain THIS EXACT PACE (which seems impossible to deny as possible) , then I will best this cruel tyrant on May 6th, and there will be much rejoicing!

    Unless he rides his bike in the Valley between now and then… just the kind of decietful trickery I have come to expect from this blackguard, this lout, this contemptible scoundrel. I MUST BE VIGILANT AND WARY!

    And then there’s Hunter Baoengstrum. He is not my foe…YET.

    It is only a matter of time.

    Why do I say this? Because Hunter Baoengstrum is systematically riding all the streets of Los Angeles County. He hasn’t started the Valley, but it’s only a matter of time. And look at the ride HE went on yesterday:

    He is a mindless biking machine.

    FIFTY-FOUR NEW MILES. IN ONE DAY. Sure it took him six hours, but HE DID IT. One day he will cross the Santa Monica Mountains and begin his attack. When he does, Daniel Quinn and I will face a true challenge. A challenge that will probably require Daniel and I to enter into an uneasy truce to defeat Hunter. A truce that the nefarious Daniel will break when he reveals that the two of them have been secret allies all along, plotting my destruction. BUT I AM ON TO BOTH OF YOU. Your plot is doomed to fail! I SHALL TRIUMPH AGAINST ALL ODDS!

    Also: Here’s a fun little video showing today’s ride:

  • My Mortal Enemy

    Today I tell the tale of my greatest rival, my nemesis, my one true foe: Daniel Quinn. Who is Daniel Quinn? I JUST TOLD YOU HE IS MY FOE. MY MORTAL ENEMY, FOR CORN SAKE.

    But if you want to know why he’s my foe…

    About a year ago I started a project: to ride on every single street in the San Fernando Valley. It fell by the wayside, mostly because of bad weather and laziness, but also because it was hard to figure out exactly where the streets of the Valley ended.

    But recently I found wandrer.earth, a site uses your ride data from Strava to figure out exactly what roads you have ridden and how much progress you have made. I signed up, went to my map, and saw this:

    A map of my rides through the San Fernando Valley.
    Guess which corner of the Valley I live in.

    Look at that magic! A beautiful map showing all of my carefully planned trips to precisely cover every single street. And now I had a number: 18.66 percent. Only 81.34 percent left.

    Then I saw the link to the leaderboard. I had to know if I was on top. I clicked the link.

    I was number TWO. Who was number one?

    DANIEL. QUINN.

    And adding insult to injury, look at his map. JUST LOOK AT IT.

    Now guess which corner HE lives in.

    HE’S NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIT EVERY ROAD. He just rides so much that he’s picked up tons of streets ON A WHIM.

    He is the most dangerous kind of mortal enemy:
    the one who doesn’t know he is a mortal enemy.

    I will crush him. CRUSH HIM.

    In the Valley. Eventually. I hope. Everywhere else he will destroy me. See how most of my rides are straight lines, and how his are all bendy? That’s because he rides the hills. A lot. He could probably knock out the Valley in a week if he tried.

    So I must work silently to destroy him. And then, when my task is done, I shall gloat on his Strava page about conquering him, destroying him, humiliating him!

    And he will say “Who are you?”

    Sort of like this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HO0FxifkzFQ

  • Hello, Internet.

    Dear Internet,

    How are you? Fine, I hope. I am fine.

    I’m sorry I haven’t written for a couple of months. I was really busy or something.

    So much has happened since my last note. The most significant thing is that I saw Cats. This was my favorite song.

    Now and forever!

    I also lost more weight. Most it from my beard.

    I also got a new bike. It looks like this one, but red.

    I made a little more progress on my project to ride every street in the San Fernando Valley.

    Look at that map of the San Fernando Valley! Look how the corner is all filled up!
    I also found a web site called wandrer.earth that will track the valley for me so I can be lazy.

    I’m sorry I haven’t written lately. I will write more soon.

    Your Friend,

    Luke

    P.S. Maybe the world is ending?

  • End of the year stuff

    There are about nine hours left in my 2019.

    It’s ending on a good note. Katherine is as awesome as ever. I still have the best damn job I could imagine, and a group of co-workers I actually like to hang out with. And I’m about 25 pounds lighter than I was last year. All good.

    The world decided to give me a gift today: perfect bike weather. Sunny and warm, but not hot. And a second gift: almost no traffic. I had my highest ever average speed for a longer ride. Another good note.

    I don’t care for the whole New Year’s resolutions thing. It’s a high pressure recipe for discouragement. Instead, I’m going to try and keep doing what I try doing all year: adjust and improve as I go. I don’t expect to get it all right, and that’s fine. Whether you’re making a resolution tomorrow or not, I hope you give yourself permission to fail and learn.

    2020 is here. I hope it’s great for you.

    Now: 50 recent songs, mostly picked by my phone, including the best song of the ride.

    New Year’s Eve – The Walkmen
    I guess my phone wanted to get into the spirit of things
    Commissioning a Symphony in C – Cake
    This would normally be a contender for Best Song of the Ride, but alas! It played before I left.

    Feral Cat Tribe – Tenement
    My Three Sons – Elvis Costello And The Imposters

    Tu m’as encore crevé un cheval – Arlt
    This was in the last 50 songs as well. Why? Because Apple uses a crappy music randomizer. Thousands of songs on my phone, and this one comes up again right away.

    Part III – Crumb
    I Wish You Would – The Yardbirds
    Vaporize – Broken Bells
    Who Cares? (take 4) – Cannonball Adderley With Bill Evans
    Longer Boats – Cat Stevens
    Coney Island Baby – Tom Waits
    Schn in rosa und rot (Pretty in Pink – Psychedelic Furs) – Le anin
    Dio – Tenacious D
    Easy Read – Trashcan Sinatras
    Baby Plays Around – Elvis Costello
    Jump Boys – The Undertones
    Cross-Eyed Tammy – The Dickies

    Bicycle Race – Queen
    When a bicycle song plays on your bike ride, you have to point it out. Also: In this song Freddie Mercury sings “…and I don’t like Star Wars.” If he didn’t like the original, imagine how much he would have hated The Rise of Skywalker.

    Fool – Cat Power
    Crazy People – Luna
    Until Death – Scout Niblett
    A New Wave – Sleater-Kinney
    Take It Easy, Greasy – Snooky Pryor
    Porno Music – Freaks and Geeks
    Straight Edge – Minor Threat
    Most Precarious – Blues Traveler
    She Wolf – Shakira
    Get In On It – Antoine Diligent
    Think It Over – Buddy Holly

    My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama – Frank Zappa
    Best song of the ride!

    Hot – The Regrettes
    Haunted – Broken Down Golf Cart
    Tu Mirada y Mi Voz – Susana Baca
    Motherless Children – Eric Clapton
    Big House – Young Fresh Fellows
    Sky Phenomenon – Jens Lekman
    I Feel Speed – Love And Rockets
    Muddy Waters – LP
    White Babies – Liz Phair
    I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues – Elton John
    I’m a Wicked One – The Hives
    Neighborhood #1 Tunnels – Arcade Fire
    Dereclict – Beck
    Key Largo – Arbes
    Loosy Lucy – The Steeples
    Everyone Can See – yungatita
    The Girl I Knew Somewhere – The Monkees
    Daylight Til Dawn – All Night Radio
    Stars on Your Nose – Indoorsy

    I’m Gonna Love The Hell Outta You (Demo) – Silver Jews
    If this had been the studio version it totally would have won best song of the ride.

    Tal Uno – Barrie

    And here’s today’s ride.

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