Category: Photoshop

This is actually five unrelated stories of couples finding out that their marriage licenses are invalid because the Justice of the Peace who signed them started a week early. Everything after that is based on legal nonsense. It never quite works. Lee Marvin shows up for a couple of lines.

Mitzi Gaynor plays a woman who is supposed to be married to a soldier going overseas. They find out they’re not married at the same time that she learns she’s pregnant, and hi-jinks happen when they try to get properly married before he leaves.

Gaynor’s star is at 6288 Hollywood Boulevard. The closest star is Janet Gaynor’s, and it turns out having the same last name is not a coincidence. Mitzi took her stage name from Janet.

Gaynor’s star is also the last on before I turn the corner and head down Vine. I’ve fully completed about a fifteenth of the walk.

Today’s fake poster is inspired by a single word:

This movie is often called things like “A dark supernatural romance.” It could also be called “pretty much everyone is a jerk.” Almost every single person in this movie is horrible to someone else, including (and especially) the two main characters.

“My love for you is huge and undeniable, but you’re not rich so I’m gonna marry this other guy.”

“Well, my love is huger and undeniabler, but you’re marrying some else so I’m going to marry your sister in law purely out of spite.”

I learned today that Merle Oberon was half Asian, but hid it until her death. The chemicals she used to lighten her skin were so rough on her face that someone invented a special light to hide all the scarring. If she had been open about her heritage she almost certainly would not have been nominated for Best Actress; the next Asian to get that nod was Michelle Yeoh, 85 years later.

Merle Oberon’s star is at 6274 Hollywood Boulevard.

It was hard to find a connection to another movie; there are very few movie titles that include the word “wuthering.” I ended up finding another movie with a mythical castle instead.

Splitsville

This was fun, but once again I must ask: writer/directors, please stop casting yourselves as leads.

This fake poster was motivated by nothing but the fact that I liked the font on the original but couldn’t find anything that resembled it. So I made my own. It’s only letters right now, and the spacing is a little weird, but it works!

Love Me Forever

I watched this because it was the only Grace Moore movie I could find. She was an opera singer turned actress, so naturally she plays a woman who just happens to be really good at singing opera. She’s fine, but Leo Carrillo (who I honestly only knew from the beach named after him) is way more fun to watch.

This poster continues my current “one good one, one bad one” pattern. This was a good idea, but the execution is weak.

Bonus Walk of Fame Thing!

One of the walk of fame stars is for Frank Fay. He is credited as the creator of modern standup comedy and the entertainment job of emcee. He was also a racist, fascist, antisemitic, egotistical ass, so I went out of my way to watch enough of him to say “I saw him on film” without having to sit through a real performance. I found a twenty minute promotional film with tons of stars called The Stolen Jools. Fay is in it for about ten seconds, and that’s plenty for me. And no star for him, either.